The other day a friend of mine was over and I was in the middle of preparing food suitable to put in my husbands lunch for work. She was appaulded at that and thought it was a big deal that I make his lunch every day for work. Is that not a housewifes duty? What do you think friends?
[question posted by Grandmaof2]
responses and comments:
I think that is defined by each persons household. Personally I also make my husband's lunch every day. This saves our family hundreds of dollars a year. But I know a lot of women do not do this. I think if you have chosen to stay home and take care of the home and support your husband that way so he can be a successful earner than you do need to take care of the home and have dinner for him. He works for you and in turn you work for him. Lunch is something he could get himself, but if you don't mind making it and he likes taking it I think that is great. It saves the family money. And I feel as someone who is responsible for running the home, that saving money any we can is a good thing. [ladym33]
Thank You so much. [Grandmaof2]
that's great. i believe it's a part of housewife's duty. i'm single now; when i'm married, i will be very happy if my wife prepares lunch for me. that's romantic :) [sutanhartanto]
Well I don't know about romantic, I'm not very cuddly but I am a good person and so are you if you're grateful in having a wife one day and being good to her. [Grandmaof2]
I wouldn't know anything about a housewife's duty, because I've never been a housewife. I don't believe I ever packed a lunch for my husband and we've been married around 40 years. But two things about that: He was a professor and had time to come home and make his own lunch except when I was able to meet him and we went out together to eat. Second, I always worked outside the home, and in every single case although he sometimes earned more, my workday was longer than his, and my work week was longer, too. Sometimes he got up from bed when I got home from work and he went to the kitchen and made me a grilled cheese sandwich or eggs and toast, but I don't think he ever packed my lunch either. I guess if one person goes outside the home to a job, and the other doesn't, then it is nice if the other packs a lunch, but I have a hard time wrapping my modern mind around the concept of "housewifely duties"--ouch. [drannhh]
You are very independant by the sounds of things and so was I for years and I love it that way. Then the time came where I was no longer able to go to work and my health started going downhill and it isn't the greatest. I absolutely hate having to depend or rely on anyone but things change and sometimes unfortunately not always for the better. I am playing the part of "Holly The Homemaker" and I guess I'm doing an OK job at it so far. [Grandmaof2]
I work seven days per week and so does my husband at the moment. He works outside of the home and I work in the home on the internet. I also keep things done around the home also. We always share in cooking the meals because of that. We usually have some leftovers and when we are putting the food and dishes away, we usually go ahead and make his lunch for work together. I think if a wife stays at home and does not work, then she should fix her husband's lunch. I can eat or make something for myself at any time since I work at home. If both spouses are working, I think it should be equally shared. [stephcjh]
It does make a difference when both are working and it did make a difference for us as well. [Grandmaof2]
I feel what ever fits your relationship works. My husband does all the yard work, half of the cooking and prepares our lunches every day. I do half the cooking, most of the dishes, the laundry,,,, He also does other things. But my mom does all the work on the inside of the entrance to their house. My dad does all the outside work and goes to work. What works for them could not work for us, nor would it fit into our lifestyle. Susan [susaneverson]
My husband does all the outside work except for my flowers and I do all the inside work myself. He could cook if he had to but he doesn't do it. [Grandmaof2]
I have made my husband's lunch when he was running late. He prefers to make his own. We were married at the age of 42 so he's used to making his own. I make my own lunch, but when running behind, he has made a lunch for me before, too. If you both agree to it and you both don't mind or even enjoy it that way, I don't think it's a big deal. Maybe she was concerned because your health may not be up to par. Or maybe she's one of those that think if you do anything for your husband, you're his slave or something. Some people are like that. Take care. [writersedge]
I think, I've reached an age, and maybe you have too, where, we do things because we can and we're proud that we still can. I have friends who are dead and others who can't make a lunch (paralized from the neck or even the eyes down). So it's all prespective. [writersedge]
I think it's the agreements or understandings we make when we first get married. I got married 30 years ago and back then I considered it my job to cook, make the lunches, do all the housework. So now I'm doing most of this all by myself to this day. He helps now and then, but it's mainly my job. I don't know how easy it is to change our routines. [whittby]
Yes you definately have a good point there. [Grandmaof2]
I don't really think it is fair to consider things "Housewife duties". Women are in charge of a lot of things and, it is sort of an individual decision, these days, as to what each person in a home will call their duties. My hubby and I share duties but, there are a few things that he does all the time, and some stuff I do all the time. But, he gets that I work too and, it is only fair that if I am going to share in the responsibility of keeping a roof over our head and comforts all around us, than we share in the dirt that we make and the routines that surround us. I don't make his lunch but, he goes home for lunch and fixes a salad and a sandwich. He vacuums and I clean the rest of the house. We share dish duty. He'll do them or I'll do them. It just sort of depends on who gets to them first. I make dinner but, we don't eat together because he comes home later so, he will frequently do the dishes after he is done eating his meal. So, to answer your question, I don't necessarily think it is a housewife duty to make your hubby's lunch. I think you do it because you love him and it is one of the many ways in which you show him you love him. But, as I said, I don't believe in "Housewife duties". I just don't like that term as I think it is a bit antiquated. And, I hope I didn't offend you by saying that! I am not a staunch feminist by any means but, I think that both genders have a lot going on all the time and, to label a task specifically towards one gender over the other is antiquated. Does that make sense? I really don't mean to offend. I just think that it is more of a "love duty". LOL! [cortjo73]
My pleasure! And, I AM very lucky to have the bond my hubby and I have! happy I am glad that I didn't offend you in any way! [cortjo73]
I don't think it's a "duty", I think it's one of those nice things husband and wives for for each other. I work too, so, I make my own lunch, and if hubby wants to take one(he rarely does), I will make one for him too. I think we're way past the days where the woman was expected to do everything. Although, if she is home, it only stands to reason she would be doing the bulk of the cooking, cleaning, etc. [bonbon664]
I will always be the one to make my husbands lunch and that doesn't bother me at all, it only takes me a couple minutes. If I was still working I would never want anyone to make my lunch because I don't like the way most people make a sandwich. Too much margarine not enough meat and way to much stuff like mayo, mustard, ketchup, relish or whatever. [Grandmaof2]
Omg thats rediculous. I always have my husbands lunch made for him. My gosh he has enough to do. He takes care of all the outside work, we just bought a big home and there is tons to do out there cutting the lawn alone is a huge job. He works two jobs when he can,(if there is enough work) and often works Overtime at the first job. He rarely sits still. Sometime I make him just rest, I mean everyone has to someetime right? I dont work outside the home due to a medical problem. So with that said I would gladly make his lunch even if I did work outside the home. Appalling? I think NOT> He also has a nice home cooked meal to come home to every evening. Diane [dianel]
Yes our situation is much the same here except for the big home and overtime hours. I'm unable to work too, I am not happy about that but I have had to just suck it up. [Grandmaof2]
I have been married almost 47 years pal and we share all duties , My hubby is really awkward and wont Iron or dust as he is worried about dropping my good Ornaments or burning something , but anything else is no problem to hi , my 2 married sons share all house duties with their wives too , I think whatever you are both happy with is the right thing to do pal , when my hubby was working I ALWAYS made up his work sandwiches too , xx [weemam]
I've always felt that it was my job to prepare my husband's lunch, especially now that I do not have a paying job. I try and do whatever I can to make things easier for him. Also, he never gets a bologna sandwich or something similar in his lunch. Most of his lunches are probably better than what most guys get for dinner. I always cook extra, and freeze some things to put in his lunch. Today it was grilled salmon and veggies from our cookout yesterday. Today he's working a double, so I'm making pork chops with gravy and wild rice, and some broccoli for his lunch tomorrow. [KarenO52]
I make my husband's lunch simply because I get up earlier then he does and I don't want him to forget it. I don't think of myself as a housewife at all. I do the laudry and clean alittle but other then that I don't do much. Now, at my in-laws, dad makes his own lunch and mom makes her own. Infact, their 9 year old makes his own lunch too. I don't think now days "housewife" is really a good way to classify people. I stay at home with our son but I work at home and do college at home. My husband cooks dinner and does the shopping for me. I guess if you consider yourself a housewife and you believe in the traditional roles then yes it is a duty of a house wife. [kassdaw]
You are a wife and live in the household and if you're incharge of your household, then doesn't that make you a housewife. Even these days, it wouldn't hurt to do something kind for your spouse. [friendship0803]
Yes it is. Everyone has a role in the family structure and everyone should live up to it. Preparing food for your husband's lunch is not appauling. It shows you care about your husband and what he eats. It also shows you take being a wife seriously. A lot of what's wrong within the family structure these days is no one wants to do for the other. Spouses wants to swap roles or have no roles at all. If a woman doesn't want to have wifely duties, then she shouldn't get married in the first place. Your friend needs to read Proverbs 31:10-31, then maybe she won't be appauled at you doing one of your wifely duties. [friendship0803]
yes, I agree that it is part of the "duties" of a housewife. Besides, it is a privelege of loving another - to serve them. [Modestah]
I have always made my partners work lunches and morning tea's for him. Whatever we have for dinner the night before he has for lunch. He always has fruit and cake for morning tea. It is far too expensive for them to buy their lunches. While he is eating healthy home cooked lunches, his workmates are spending a fortune on unhealthy greasy lunches each workday. [Goodie123]
Oh Modestah,if I put a love note in hubby's lunch, He would think I was sick, he has not a romantic bone in his body. Some of his co-workers spend over $100 a week on fast food for lunches. [Goodie123]
With the advent of womans rights movements that sure is a loaded question. Some woman think everyone in the family should be responsible for themselves. Others think the man should be the bread winner and the woman should be responsible for the home and kids. Yet others where both partners work tend to share responsibilities. So it really depends on where you fall into the realm of things. I personally come from the old school where the man is responsible for the providing and the woman takes care of the home type chores. So in my book what you did was certainly falling within a housewifes duty. Or maybe that is domestic engineer. Oh well I think you know what I mean. [eeyore39]
Domestic engineer, I love it!!! [Grandmaof2]
My hubby and I were always old fashion with our roles in life. He worked, I stayed home and took care of home and the family. I got him up for work in the morning, made him something to eat for breakfast. I also made him and packed him a lunch. We took care of each other, he did certain things, I did certain things. I think if more people did for each other in a marriage, maybe more marriages would last longer. What you were doing was part of you job, but thats just my opinion. [Polly1]
I do try to keep my friends laughing and guessing. My hubby and I had lots of fun, he never knew what I was going to do, hehe. I need to start a discussion about pranks we get our friends and spouses with. [Polly1]
I think that your man is very lucky to have you:) Every once in a while~ not very often, I will make my husbands lunch. I don't make a habit of it....he is capable of making his own lunch. I make my kids lunches and have never seen my husband even think of helping do that, so I guess that is my duty. I think that if the housewife is home all day, they should keep the house clean and orderly and make dinners and do laundry. If they housewife works all day, the chores should be split evenly between both the husband and wife. [sunshine4]
I only make my husband's lunch if I am making lunch for myself. We share the duties in the house. He actually enjoys cooking and doing housework too! That of course brings a smile to my face. If I were home all day and my duties were that of the main homemaker, I too would make my hubby his lunch. [ElusiveButterfly]
Oh man he's a keeper!!!My man has a job, he complains every day because he has to go and does nothing at home because he works five days a week. [Grandmaof2]
Theres nothing wrong in making your hubbys lunches, that friend is a little out of line there. Taking brown bag lunches is a great way to save a lot of money.eatingout can be so costly. Sure its a housewifes duty if she wants it. [Hatley]
I would consider that a house wife duty I see nothing wrong with it I make my mans plate and take it to him for dinner and when he is done I take his plate to the sink he would do the same for me Iam sure maybe you just women like us are few and far between from what I here and I think its great! Good Job! [sxrxnrr45601]
I don't always make my husband lunch, but if I do get him a lunch ready it is leftovers from dinner that night that he will take to work the next day. It can be hard to make enough food to have leftovers for him to take to work. I don't cook anything particularly for him to take to work, though. I don't think it is not a housewife's duty to make her husband a lunch for work. At my house, my husband is gone for about 65 hours a week including his drive time, so he doesn't have a lot of down time. He doesn't do any housework. I take care of laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, taking care of our son, and anything else that needs to be done so that all he has to concentrate on is work and his online schoolwork. I don't think that's unfair, though. He shouldn't have to do things around the house since he is the only one working. I guess some women think it's like degrading to have an arrangement like that, but it's no big deal to me. I like taking care of my family. I used to be quite a feminist and the version of me in high school would probably be shocked that I do this, but it's not like a power struggle with our arrangement. It's simply a matter of who has more time to do housework and I want to make things as easy as possible on my husband while he is home. [phoenix25]
My husband gets his lunch at work everyday, but everymorning I get up & put together a little breakfast bag that he can take to work with him. I see no reason why a housewife can't do this. If both the husband & wife are working thats one thing, but I don't work so why shouldn't I try to make my husband's life a little easier. He works all day. True I take care of the household chores, laundry, & such, but I have also worked with the public so I know just how stressful his job can be. There is no shame in being a good housewife for your husband. In my opinon that speaks very highly of you as both a person & as a wife. [robsbrooklyngirl]
Well my fiance does not work yet, but even so I still prepare all of his meals unless his mother is preparing supper or we go out to eat. It's just something that I enjoy doing. I believe it is a duty of a house wife as it is her kitchen, she should prepare her husbands meals.. and that includes lunch. Not many people do it anymore but it doesn't make it wrong [SomeCowgirl]
Duties are hard sounding,we have dutied in the places of employment. If ones own house turns in a place where you have duties,then life is really painful. For duteis have to be performed and there is escape from that whatever happens to you. For mw home is a nice place where everybody is ready to do everything, where we can adjust and do our work. Take rest, laze a little. If it sounds like neglecting the family yhan we must have duties and some master to punish when they are not done! [daffodil1949]
I think this depends on the dynamics of your relationship, and who does what. There will be a big difference between what is 'reasonable' in a relationship where one person works out of the home and the other is at home all day, a couple who have a bunch of pre-school kiddies at home needing lots of care and attention, and a couple who both work full time. [GreenMoo]
it's probably not your duty but it's a very nice thing to do for someone you love. I think it's wonderful that you take special pains to make it lunch suitable to his diet! [jillhill]
Well, I do that too. I do the cleaning, laundry and pay the bills and do the shopping lists. If I need help in doing some of the house hold stuff he will help me. He does also cook sometimes. He actually is a better cook than I am. I really dont like to cook. To me it is not so much a duty as it is the fact that since I am not working outside the home, I have the time to do it. When I did work, he did sometimes help out. The only housework that he really wont do is fold or hang clothes. He will separate the clothes and put them in the washer and dryer. For me we never think of anything as a "duty". [jillmalitz]
The following are the housewife duties I performed as a young woman: driver, cook, maid, receptionist, doctor, teacher, counselor, bookkeeper, repairperson, secretary, landscaper, mother, babysitter etc., etc. A housewife, when I was young, was required to do everything in the house, and the husband would earn money and come home at the end of the day, grab a beer and watch the football game on TV. I also had to work outside the home to make ends meet. So now that I am older and divorced I find that I have less work to do. [naty1941]
My husband is an RN on the night shift working about 13 hours. I make him a smoothie, a lunch, a dinner, and snacks to tkae to work with him. He makes his own breakfast before leaving the house. I enjoy doing this for him because I feel like it makes his job easier gives him a little something to think of me while at work. All his co-workers always comment on the wonderful meals he gets to enjoy. I wouldn't necessarily say that it is a housewife's duties, but it's a nice gesture nonetheless. [wrld_n_harmony]
I wouldn't consider it a housewife duty to fix meals for my husband before he heads to work. I think it's a sweet thing to do, and on top of that. It saves money, instead of him going out and wasting money on something to eat. I don't drink coffee, but I will fix it for my husband, so he doesn't have to stop and waste money on a cup of coffee. I don't see it as my job, it's just being nice. I mean really, for people that don't do this for their mates. Switch places with them, wouldn't you want someone to make you something to eat or drink, so you don't have to take extra time before heading to work, fixing something to eat. [chertsy]
hello grandmaof2 that is really sweet of you to pack your hubby's lunches for him like that. these days, who can afford to eat out somewhere at lunch time everyday? and that is a good housewife duty! that is probably the best experience that i have around the house is cooking my family and myself a delicious meal when it is time to eat. but my housewife chores include all of the above. i do most all of the grocery shopping, unless we grill out or something like that then my hubby will go to the grocery store and decide what looks good to bbq, i run all of the errands around here, i do all of the cooking, all of the laundry, all of the sweeping, mopping and dusting. so. lol but i do not pack my hubby a lunch like you do thou, he works for a delivery company here in town, and he is on call 24/7, so he is mostly home when he needs to eat something. if not, then he grabs a burger or something on the road. have a beautiful evening. [RLFinNash]
Hum, lets see a housewives duties is whatever she wishes them to be. Doing small things sometimes for your husband is fine and he hopefully appreciates it. Likewise, he does things for her. Duties in the home are for both the husband and the wife. There are no set duties for either. Well, besides carrying a baby to term of course. And I hear this is changing. LOL. My husband does things for me and I for him. He fixes things for me when I want them and I for him. It depends on who is in the kitchen at any given time or whatever task in any room. All things need to be a shared experience. If you enjoy doing things for your husband, do them. You can go over board with things and then he will expect them and not appreciate what is done for him. Or expect you you to things all the time for him. You just need to find a balance I guess. Pick and choose what you will and won't do at any one time. [moondancer]
I used to get up very early with my husband and make his lunch and his coffee for him but I don't do any of that now. I believe this all changed when I broke my wrist and was having a difficult time with dishes/cooking/laundry/etc. and my husband wouldn't even cook a meal, during those six weeks he made me a peanut butter sandwich only once. He wouldn't do laundry or dishes or anything I always did and he still expected me to do all of my "duties" and still help him outside. Unbelievable! I had another incident of being on bedrest when pregnant with out first child and the same was true, he did nothing in the house, I still had to do it all. So, as much as I love my husband, he can make his own coffee and his own lunch, I still have to do his dirty laundry, along with all the other household stuff and some outside duties as well. [ShadowBrook]
Well I think with the chefs nowadays mostly being men, that making dinner would not be considered housewifely duties. However I do not think your friend was thinking on that venture. She was thinking that cooking for your husband and preparing his lunches demeaning and that he can make his own lunch. I do think that wives should make lunch for their husbands and the meals, and the husband can make the meals if it is something special he likes to do, or she is sick. The reason is that men often use too many pots, they think that bacon and eggs is a complete meal, in other words unless they have chef experience or had to help because their mother was working, they do not know how to do it properly. [suspenseful]
well i always fix for my husband,but maybe she is from a new breed...Lol....My husband mows grass,takes out the garbage and works on the cars and keeps them running and fixes things around the house and picks up heavy things...I cook because i want my husband to eat healthy..I clean my house and i wash cloths.i would hate to see the cloths if my husband washes...I would also hate to see a bed that he made up..I think certain things women are better at than men are,and men are better at some things than women are.i stick to what i know...My husband washes dishes sometimes,he will also vaccum..I think women are natural caretakers and when we love we nourish our loved ones...If your husband is working it sounds natural to me to fix him a lunch.He is working for you both ....I always felt it was a wifes duty to take care of her husband ,i mean he takes care of us don't he.... [slickcut]
Whatever works at your house is your duty. If he likes you to pack his lunch, then it is great that you do it. My first hubby preferred to pack his own. Sometimes I cook, sometimes hubby does. Most of the time I make my own lunches, but sometimes he brings me something. We get along fine by giving each other space to do what we like. [GardenGerty]
Isn't it to sit on the computer all day and do nothing? J/K I don't know I scrub the bathroom and everything else is pretty much split equally. My husband does work outside of the house and I do not but he likes to make everything easy for me and I guess he has made me lazy because I have no problem sitting at home playing with the children and picking up some but on Saturdays we do a deep cleaning of the house together. Oh, I am in charge of filing because he is not very good at that, but that's okay with me I don't mind it. [ZephyrSun]
Why did it appall her? Why wouldn't you fix his lunch? What's wrong with this woman? If mine took a lunch I would fix it, there wouldn't be any question about it. [SusanLee]