My hubby is just great he clean and is and expert cook with cuisane.
I guess Im pretty lucky...but then there my sister in law who says who husband
will not pick up a shoe. He says he works all day all plops himself in his recliner.
My guy is a pretty old school macho kinda of guy ...he help out and I appreciate him
for it greatly..
Do you think its unmanly for a man to help out?? What do you thing
[question posted by goldenapple951]
responses and comments:
I think it's unmanly for a man NOT to help out! He helps create some of that mess too, he should be helping you clean up. That's great that your hubby is so good about that sort of thing - so many are not, particularly if the wife doesn't work outside of the home. I currently do not work outside of my home, but I have two kids, and as anyone will tell you, being a stay at home mom is the equivalent of having at least TWO full time jobs. So if hubby doesn't help out, then technically you're working more than he is, you're just not getting paid for it. A man who sits on his butt and grumbles that the house and kids are the woman's responsibility is no kind of man in my eyes. [youngsweetheart]
I like your prospective...Yes I think it can be sexy too. What about all those "brawny towel" comercials??lol..... I love it [goldenapple951]
I think they should because of course i am a man and when i get married (to a lady of course!!). I would help around the house and i am fascinated in cooking as well, except i am expecting to become a doctor so i dont really know how cleaning will fit into my schedule because as you know i would be working 16 hours a day- 48 hours straight if i am doing a surgery (a hard one). Happy mylotting. also great discussion so start!!! [tenkiboudiki]
Excellent view from a man..cooking seems to relax some people unwind. It works great for me because I get all this great chinese food, so many different kinds of food and textures...I even had to my surprise my favorite dessert waiting for me in the fridge.."lemon merigue" So I think that men must know we women appreciate it so much when they contribute. There is a saying, " IF mama isnt happy no one is happy" And this is so true. [goldenapple951]
No I do not think it is unmanly, in fact I think it is the sign of a good man that helps out at home. My hubby is the same, he is not afraid to muck in at all with all the household chores. He goes out to work all day though and I stay at home, so I do not like him to do too much as I do not think it is fair when he has been at work all day and I have not. [gemini_rose]
That sounds great....like you pretty much share the duties. Yes a guy needs some relaxing time...I usually let my hubby get home splash cool water on his face and let him get in his favorite t-shirt. Let him unwind ... dont talk about bills, kids, ect.. after that he is so energized he's off to the kitchen! [goldenapple951]
I am very lucky with my husband as he has always helped out when he has been at home. We are both retired now and we try to share the work. He is a good cook and does most of that. This is really good as I am not so keen on it. He also likes shopping so does most of that too. I love decorating so do that. We share the other things. It took a while to sort things out but it really works and m husband is no less macho for it. [wanderer086]
That sound terrific.. Im a terrible cook...really I am I set the stove on fire my first day as a married woman. Trying to make tacos.. lol... needless to say we had pizza that night! [goldenapple951]
I think is actually more manly if a husband helps out. It shows that he appreciates the work that the wife does in the home. It shows respect for not only the wife but the house and belongings in the home. It also sets a good example for the children in the household. I love it when my husband helps out with house work. [AICIRT81]
Oh that is a good one.... Example Yes I would like my son to help his wife out.. I like that [goldenapple951]
I honestly dont see it as a manly or unmanly thing at all..I think tht its just the right thing within reason depending on the couple and their circumstances ya knwo....I mean in my case, I am a SAHM whereas my husband works 10 hour days..so its only common sense to me that I do the majority of the housework etc..HOWEVER if it were the other way around and I WORKED all day then he would do it....MIND YOU regardless of who works and who doesnt etc I think the working person should help out to some degree at least..even if its just pickin up after themselves or for example taking out the trash when they notice the can is full etc etc ya know.. [Ravenladyj]
"Regardless who works or not" that is good. And yes there a some guys that work 10-14 hours a day and need some time to rest. Picking up after yourself is good too. It helps everyone. Why work more than you have to? You make some really good points. [goldenapple951]
husband should really help out with the household because wife/mothers have several things to do thats why the dad and baby should help me.... [jelamar]
Im sure you all a mother's job is never done. We can time out..we dont get weekends off.. So you made a excellent point [goldenapple951]
Well i am lucky to have a husband who knows how to do all the work in the house, he is a good cook, i love his pasta bolognese and buns.He changed baby's nappies and clean the house. he shared lots of house hold chores after he gets from work. Sometimes when he is going to cook im going to wash dishes, and we have always sharing in put baby into bath, we schedule it everyday. happy myloting, cheers! [rainmark]
That sounds absolutely wonderful...What a great way to bond with your family [goldenapple951]
yeah, a man should definitely help out at home! Its part of being married I think, and just is a common courtesy thing. It is a lot of work keeping a place clean, and making dinner, and if you have kids, keeping them happy. Its just part of being a family I think. [TheHawkBat]
Courtesy...that is another great point. When you care about someone this is not difficult to do..thanks for sharing that with us. [goldenapple951]
Yes I do think that husbands should help with the housework.My husband always helps me when he gets off of work. He also cooks and does the shopping. [babystar1]
Husband and wife are the two wheel of vehicle ,both are parller to each other for the proper fuctioning of wheel of life .both should be equally strong and move eqully.now awoman are given equal rights.that is why they are working with man in every sphere of life.the woman has touched/travelled the moon.she is no more less than man. she helps her life finacillyshe have to work out of home. the modren woman is over burdened.she has to look her home as well as her work place. she has to lookafer the children.thatwhy the man should recognise the her equality and give the due regard to the wife.so it is become the the important duty of man/husband to help his wife in domestic affairs. the man should help his wife in the upbringing of child and in kitchen. [khatri_50]
I guess it will depend on the relationship. My husband isn't home much and doesn't do work unless he has to which at some points pisses me off. My Sisters husband did study as a chief so he does cook and clean the kitchen once in a while. But for my part since I'm home, I need to do all the work. He doesn't expect me to do EVERYTHING though. The only time he helped me out is when I gave birth to our 2nd child. Man, that was good. He cleaned everything for me. He sometimes cleans the toilet cause I just really hate it but that's once in a blue moon he does that. [emarie]
Hey toliets are good....every bit helps!!!( I hate toliet too) Praise him and good things will follow...lol Like," I've never seen a toliet shine like this before" I love your post. [goldenapple951]
Of course a husband should help with the housework. It is important to clear up after yourself and common courtesy to help with the chores. It is best when there is an official share of the work, for example if one person cooks the other washes up. I think a guy who helps around the house is far more manly than one who sits in a chair all day. Well done on having such a helpful husband! [creative_genius]
Thanking you.. " I think guy who helps around the house is far more manly that one who sits in a chair all day" You should make that into a bumper stick. I love it [goldenapple951]
no. he should not "help out" it should be as much his job as his partners job, so not "helping out" but doing his fair share. [Galena]
Good point..Its their responsibility to share. After they are a family. Its important that families work together as a unit. Women didn't say "poof" and children appeared... we had alittle help. [goldenapple951]
There is no harm if husbands help their wives in house work jobs.This thing is required when their wives are sick and they cannot do such tasks.Yes,it looks odd that if any husband starts cooking,cleaning,taking care of babies and his wife goes out or sits back to see this scene.......... [awapak]
If a guy works himself to death to provide the family income and the woman stays in the house, then it's understandable if he wants to laze around when he comes home. Understandable. IF he works himself to death. Because while home might be the only reprieve said guy might have, housework is no laughing matter and is actually more tiring and never-ending than any job outside of it. If both people work, there is no excuse for the guy to laze around. While it's stereotypical for the woman to have the job of taking care of the household, in the current age where women are stepping out of the mold to help provide for the family, a guy CAN step out of HIS stereotype and share the household work with his wife. It's only fair, after all. A marriage is a partnership, right? [semicolonp]
I think it is a copout (and very UNMANLY and disrespectful) to not help out! Granted my husband does not do the majority but he does do some, like if I ask him to do something, he usually does, plus he takes good care of the cars and the Pool and all the electronics (computers, tvs, components) and he grills. I am not at all saying that everybody should expect their male signficant others to do all the house stuff like shopping and cooking and cleaning but I do think it's important for them not to leave a mess, not to MAKE a mess, and certainly not to think that someone else will always take care of it. It takes but a few minutes to wipe a counter or wash a plate or a glass, and a minute to take out the trash and even less to make sure you THROW AWAY your trash or hang up a towel or stick your clothes in a hamper or the laundry room. I don't see what the big deal is with people who refuse to do these simple things. [mommyboo]
Oh, and to add the stuff with kids. As long as you have things streamlined so they cannot get out 500 toys and spread them 2 feet deep all over your house or yard, it is pretty easy to pick up after that too. Just let them have 2 things at a time and put those away before you pick something else out. For the guys who get overwhelmed easily, one thing at a time. Fix lunch, Mac & cheese or whatever. Feed the kids. Then DO THE DISHES right away, throw away the trash, clean up the kids, done. No mess, nothing for mom to get mad about when she gets home. If you go outside and the kids get dirty, take off their shoes OUTSIDE, take the clothes off and put them in the washer (or laundry room) right away and stick them in the Bath or shower. I have plenty of tips for the clueless. [mommyboo]
Sounds to me you have a very loving husband. I do think it is UN-manly for the husband to not help around the house, the tasks are mediocre and simple, it doesn't matter who does it. But, if your friend says that her husband works 'all day', then isn't it justified that he deserves a little relaxation at the end of the day? Unless you mean the husband is always sitting in the recliner all day, then that's different. [Chengm]
YES! A husband or man in any house should chip in and help with the chores. While I do understand that after a hard day of work a man needs to rest and relax first, afterwards he can still do some small small stuff around the house to show his wife/woman that he knows she works hard too and they are still a team. [gtdonna]
I think a man is just as capable of helping out around the house as a woman. In today's world most couples both work outside the home just to make ends meet. Therefore a man should help out at least occasionally. Even in the rare instance that mom is lucky enough to stay home dad could help out sometimes to give mom a break. [tammytwo]
My husband does help out with housework, but he is best at cooking. I came home today after being pampered getting a pedicure and haircut, the house was really organized. He rearranged stuff and put things away that I couldn't find a spot for. I don't expect him to do this stuff because I stay at home while he works but I think he does it coz I always tell him if something bothers him to do it himself because things (like being disorganized) doesn't bother me. He hasn't done any laundry yet but that's ok because he just bought me a really nice new washer and dryer and there is never any laundry coz it's lot's of fun to wash clothes with the new washer and dryer! [oraclemv]
Every situation and relationship is different. If your sister in law and her husband have had an agreement since they began their relationship, then I would say she has nothing to complain about. It's all about communication. It also depends on if she is the homemaker, if she works outside the home as well, ect. Like right now with my husband and I, I stayed at home with our son for the past 2 and a half years. I just recently decided to take a part time job (a nanny position so I am still able to be my son's caregiver) so my husband is helping me out a lot more around the house. [shannon76]
It's really strange because their relationship almost robotic. He sits in his recliner ( his throne he calls it) and will not lift a sock. a piece of popcorn off the floor-NOTHING They have lived that way for years....needless to say we never seen them hugging or saying a kind word to each other, but thats THEIR marriage so we keep out. [goldenapple951]
well its da other way around my girl-friend doesnt help me clean, always makes excuse..lol..like she got headched, tire from work, not feeling good. everytime its time to clean she backs off. and it makes me feel like a damn girl...i hate cleaning but i hate seeing dirt.. [oreed8]
OMG I can see your dilema... So sure it can go opposite and you need a helping hand too.. Maybe you can say I really would like to take you out to your favorite place-mall, eating place, but I cant because I spend my time cleaning. [goldenapple951]
Husbands should definately help out with the housework -especially if both the husband and the wife work outside of the home. Even if the wife stays home, she may have to deal with the children all day, and might not be able to get everything done. [kellys3ps]
Yes...and not to mention We can time out of our jobs as mom. It is a 24 hour job-no weekends off [goldenapple951]
for me husband and wife should work as a team...so if your husband doesnt want to help you..he`s not a good husband [deltagodam]
That is actually right. A husband and wife are a team. They are best friends and lovers. [goldenapple951]
I think your hubby help out with the housework is a way of expressing his love to you .you should cherish all what he did .I believe you are very lucky .If he is a androcentrism ,don't care housework,don't care you,it is a terrible thing .*-* [tianli]
Yes it is a way of showing love and being considerate to another person. "androcentrism" thank you that is a new word I have just learned. [goldenapple951]
If husbands have the time then yes it would be nice to help their wives out with the house work. The man is after all the bread earner of the family and if he's working all day long its buy obvious he would be tired and totally frustrated by the time he comes house. In that case I personally feel he wouldn't be in a state to do the housework and you can't blame him after all. For men who know to cook well its a big plus point for their wives. wink [razor123]
I agree that there must be some down time ...Im sure alot of guys come home drained after working 12-16 hours a day.. After refreshment and energy has been replaced its just wonderful when guys help out. We women appreciate it so very much. [goldenapple951]
WOW... I am sure this question causes some serious arguments. I guess it would depend on the relationship you have. I work at home, if my husband worked outside of the home then I think we should do whatever is necessary to keep our home nice and clean. If I am a housewife and that is my job.. then i think its my job to keep the house clean. I am not going to wait on my husban and and foot like a slave, but i will do my job accordingly. If my husband is the houseman and i work outside the home then i expect the same if that is his job. I think we have to re-define doing house work and helping out. [QUEZSMOM]
Yes sometimes it does depend on your family life. It is nice when a man who has been working long hours to come home to a clean house and a hot meal for his belly. But after.. It really nice when everyone works together and if they see something out of place to rearrange or pick it up. teamwork=terric [goldenapple951]
Hell yeah a guy should. You help make the mess you should help keep the place clean, you live there too. My dad helped around the house all the time when I was growing up, would vacuum, dust and lots of stuff. Hell as a kid I thought every guy did, I didnt know most didnt until I got older. Ive always helped my girl out with that kind of stuff. I dont really like doing it, but who does lol. Pagan and Proud [darkjedi]
Your right no one likes to do it but thats great you give her hand. Im sure she appreciates it. [goldenapple951]
u knw one thing................its too difficult to make dem work at home...........but u did a really hard work.......and tats gud and gr8 toooooooo......keep it up.............. [ZOHEBSULTAN]
Mine doesn't help out usually unless I'm sick or out of town or something like that. I actually feel bad if I see him doing say the dishes because it is my job and like any other job I have pride with my work. He works and I stay at home so I can get those things done. Then the evenings can be spent having a nice dinner, relaxing and family time. When I worked outside the home I did expect him to do some housework and he did but it was never up to my standards so this works good for us. If I worked we could have more money and more things, but we choose to live in our means and be frugal so that we can have this arrangement for the time being. Like I said, it works for us but I am sure it is not for everyone and I'm not against working a job - I did that for 20 years and I'm not against doing it again when the kids get a little older. [kimberlylynn]
There is a saying that say" if it not broken why fix it" so if this works for you thats great [goldenapple951]
I wish my husband still did this, lol. When we first got married he helped out all the time but now I have to keep asking him over and over again before he finally gets tired of hearing it and finally does it. I do think men should help out around the house, especially if they are not working. Even if they do work they can still help out a little bit. Sounds like you have a good husband. Don't get me wrong, my husband is a good man too but he needs a good kick in the butt anymore before he does anything around here. :) [cwilson26]
That sounds great..sometime husband like anyone else might need a helpful hint. It sounds there's alot a great guys out there that is so good to hear. [goldenapple951]
Hi goldenapple951, Oh girl, you have a one in a million hubby gosh I wish I had one like your but mine is just like your sister-in-law's hubby, he won't evenwash his own cup out and I have always said his mother spoiled him. In this day and age husbands should share housework but I think it just lazyness on some husbands part, he don't put the rubbish either, the lazy git. Tamara [tamarafireheart]
lol...Yes it can imagine it must be frustrating. I try to not my spoil my son...heaven forbid I dont want some poor woman in future suffering..I let him know treat your wife like gold. [goldenapple951]
All those who enjoy the comforts, love, safety, cooperation and protection of the home should work for it. What is do great about the husband? [daffodil1949]
At times it could be overwhelming...taking kids to basketball practice, paying the bills, ect.. So when a husband helps out it a soothing balm to an scorched hand. [goldenapple951]
its not unmanly for a man to do household chores..actually my husband do the laundry, he also wash the dishes..he's the one cooking our food and he's good in it..and it's so sweet knowing your husband do that for you.. [tatiana07]
Oh thats wonderful he helps you with the laundry. My hubby tried to do the laudry and put the towels together with the jeans, t-shirts and my grandson's clothes.. Needless to say we had lint on piece of clothing. But I give him props for trying.... [goldenapple951]
well my husband works about 64 hours a week and when he gets home hes working outside so i don't ask him to help out even though he will time to time, but i am a stay at home mother of 2 and one just went to pre-k so its really not hard i mean he works and does the outside ,i stay home with the kids and do the inside,then on weekends we help each other so its like a routine we have. i don't mind if he helps me or not because hes always doing something its not like he just sits and watch i couldn't keep up with him for a day if i tried. [newlands6801]
Well working outside is defintely a help....doing the yard to make the house look nice and gardening. Most important he is active which is absolutely wonderful. [goldenapple951]
I do not think it is unmanly for the man to do housework. It shows that he is confidant of his manhood enough to help his wife. He is showing his love for her. Typically, many men are selfish, but a man like yours puts his wife before himself. You are very lucky! [getnbuy]
"It shows the he is confidant of his manhood enough to help his wife" That is a good one.. A confidant man can be sexy ...kind of a take charge kind of guy. [goldenapple951]
My husband is a great help and above all he makes sure that he gets the things done well.He is the person who gave me few tips in cooking when we got married.As i was new to the family he gave me so many ideas in cooking. Sometimes I feel they are of great help but at times they makes thing s messy...but thats okay!!!As long as they are cooperative!!! Its not unmanly.....husbands can do shhare some of our households works...In this way there would be a better understanding between each one of them...iNFACT IT WOULD BE FUN! [seeths]
Yes I can be fun... Usually when he is cooking Im washing dishes...He uses all sort of stuff- woks, meat slicers. ect... and in some way we laugh and bond as I smell the sweet smell of garlic and spices. [goldenapple951]
It's not unmanly if a guy helps his wife with the household chores...it is cute and a sign of being sweet for me.There are times when a mom has to go away and a man should know the how to cook and clean the house and takes care of the kids.A man should not be dependent on his wife. [pinks17]
Yes its a shared thing. I try to get my hubby to teach my 19 old how to cook because he nuks everything in the microwave... I guess he took after me [goldenapple951]
I do not think helping out is unmanly. My husband is a lawyer and a working man but he loves cooking for the family anytime. He finds this as a stress reliever. He also cleans when he is in a really good mood. I am very lucky to have him in my life. So many times, he has brighten up my day because of his cooking and the way he spoils me. happy [jammyt]
Isnt it wonderful to be spoiled once in a while? It brightens my day too... [goldenapple951]
I don;t think its unmanly for a man to help out around the house. I feel that that state of mind is linked to gender roles places of genders in previous centuries. I feel that the man and woman should contribute equally in a house hold. Especially if both are working. I know some days may be rougher than others but each spouse should take equal responsibly to chores around the house. [jde005]
"Each spouse should take equal responsibly to chores around the house" Yes that is great. [goldenapple951]
definitely yes... especially if both the couples are earning money together... then they have to help each other to do household chores as well... nobody can be selfish in this case... my hubby is a great man... he helps me a lot with the housework as i also help him with earning the money to pay the bills... take care and have a nice day... [lingli_78]
Oh thats wonderful...sounds like you have a great relationship. When families pull together it make things run smoothly. Thank you and have a super day too! [goldenapple951]
Hello goldenapple951ji, well my husband too help in my housework, whenever he is with me. usually he stays outside for the work and i have to stay alone with my inlaws. He is hardworker and he always help me out. have a great day, keep mylotting. [shalu1975]
Being hardworker that is commendable..that is a wonderful quality to have [goldenapple951]
yeah i think there is nothing wrong with a man helping to clean the house. i help my wife all the time in cleaning the house, hell i dust, vacum, do dishes, even will do the wash and hang it up. and i tell her i will do the bathroom so the fumes won't give her a headache. i had some dude tell me i was whip, i was like no whip but a good husband. [syankee525]
You are absolute right you are no whip... What a thoughtful person to think about your wife and not wanting her to get sick with the fumes... That is love ... And Im sure she appreciate all that you do. [goldenapple951]
I don't think it unmanly for a man to help out around the house. I think a man is a baffoon if he doesn't help out. A baffoon and a self centered fool. [NoReplyatAll]
OMG Baffoon is definitely not good... lol.. [goldenapple951]
it doesn't make them less of a man to help out at home. if the wife works they certainly should help out. i have a neighbor that still works her husband took an early retirement. he doesn't do doodly to help her. they will go to the grocery, he gets out walks in the house & let's her bring in everything. he needs a good swift kick in the posterior in my opinion. [ANTIQUELADY]
Oh no he didnt... A swift kick is right lol [goldenapple951]
i think that its not a shame for guys helping out in ladies work like in kitchen or any other work. if ladies dont feel shy to do men work and how can man feel shy. i feel work is work either an office work or a kitchen work, all works are equal and no good and bad. if we dont do kitchen work and dont cook than what we will eat and how do we get energy to do work. all is interconnected and we should not feel shy for any work to do. i know it might be difficult for a few of us and then too its better we all accept it and do it together. my husband helps me out in my house work and i m really proud and happy as there are persons who just dont help their wives, but men had to understand wives efforts and help them out, atleast sometime to make them happy and show them that they care for them. we ladies dont expect our husbands to do all the work but just a help will do and it will make us happy. dont you think so? [icegermany]
Yes..... "we dont expect our husbands to do all the work but just a help will do" Excellent [goldenapple951]
If we don't think housework a burden. It could be a fun. [hivickiezhou]
I like your positive thinking. Cleaning toliets doesnt sound appealing though... [goldenapple951]
well i think that if any couple live together or are married then the chores should be shared, my partner is very lazy, he doesn't do anything to help around the place, i clean and he makes more work for me which is so annoying, that's why i asked him to go home and live in his own house because mine was being used as a rubbish dump by him and his son, when i woke one morning the place was a tip and i went mad, so i asked him to go home, i don't get paid for cleaning up after him so why should i do it all the time while he sleeps all day, it's just not fair, his own home is clean so why doesn't he keep my home clean too.....so yes if your in a relationship it should be shared by both people.... [tattylashes]
yes that's true, if you share a home, then share the chores, sinple as, if they don't help then kick butt...LOL....lol [tattylashes]
Everyone in the family is responsible for keeping the house nicely. It has no direct relation with your gender. Woman is not born for keeping the house [hivickiezhou]
"Everyone in the family" Excellent concept! [goldenapple951]
The husband married the woman as she is, not to make her a slave. lol I am quite lucky that my husband is a tidy guy who cleans the room and the whole house. He takes care of the Motorcycle and tidies up the washed clothes. He does not want to do the ironing but he does help out with washing the laundry and the dishes. He cooks rice as long as there is a rice cooker lol. He's great. Every man should be like that - help around the house not just sit and do nothing while the lady works around. Also, we live in a world where women have their careers, too. There should be fair and equal division of labor around the house . [joyadalia]
Yes things have changed. Things are more expensive and more couple are both working. That is great he helps around with the dishes and laundry Im sure that a big help for you. [goldenapple951]
if he has time,i think he should help do someting,doing housework together is a good way for couple to commnicate and understand each other,wife and husband is just a team,one added one is bigger than two,unity is the power. [carl1105]
"unity is power" Oh that is a great bumpersticker! I love it [goldenapple951]
Yes, husband should help out in the household work. Before I got married, my father used to tell us that every single member of the family should help out in the household chores. As I reach the age of 4. I learn to put my toys in the box, before going to sleep. Thats the first chores I did. Then slowly, my parents give me responsibility inside the house. As we grow older, we take turns washing the dishes, or set the table. We have to do household chores everyday. A simple task is assigned to us everyday. Now, that I'm married, I'm lucky to have a husband who helps in the household chores. I don't have to tell him to help me. He do it in his own likings. [agent_alice]
You dad sounds like a gem...what a wonderful thing he instilled in you and your family. You are reaping the benefits with your husband. You are extremely fortunate [goldenapple951]
Most definitely. A marriage is a partnership and both partners should help in all aspects. At the very least, he should be picking up after himself instead of expecting her to do it. [newtondak]
"at least pick up after him self" I cant agree more.. How frustrating it must be to clean and it seems like you never finish. [goldenapple951]
I always tell mine (he works way too hard) that all he has to do to keep me happy is pick up after himself. He doesn't he does enjoy cooking occasionally. It is manly - it's a turn on to see him actively helping this household other than financially. [howellslj]
Has to be a man thing to cook over those open flames. [howellslj]
I think gals and guy have to share the housework with each other, now the Modern world gals and guys come out to work too. So does housework, take for an example my mom and my dad. If my mom is out to work, my dad will help out the housework. If my mom's back, she will just relaxed and just cook for the family. And during her off days she will just do the housework too, and there's also a case of when wife's pregnant. Guys must have the responsibility to do the housework as gals is inconvenient to move around with a big stomach. [k1virus1978]
Yep at 8 or 9 months all you do is waddle and boy does it help when the poppa steps up to bat and help around the help. [goldenapple951]
Hi friend,Am a home maker so I do all the work at home.Cooking and cleaning.My hub is busy with work. He drives nearly 100kms everyday and when he comes home exhausted I dont feel like asking him to help.I only feel like serving him and keep him comfortable with whatever he needs.He is working only for us ,his family.How can I ask him to help?Thanks for sharing,Happy mylotting. [sumiirajj]
Wow sound like he commutes a long way.. when he has time to refresh and wind down sure if you need a little help... you could ask And let him know always how much you appreciate him for the big and little things he does...Guys really do listen but you dont get much expression from them. [goldenapple951]
I do not know whether its a matter of should or should not. I think that it is common courtesy for the couple to work together on the household duties. My hubby is self employed and works out of the house for now. I'm a stay at home momma. Now sure I do a majority of the household chores during the day. However he is the cooking genius in the house so he does ALL of the cooking. I do the dishes and then he puts the clean dishes away(I hate putting them away). He is better at the really detailed dusting, I do the maintenance type dusting and then he gets into the nooks and crannies. So we help each other out alot. I couldn't even begin to imagine life any other way. He is a tremendous help to me. It really earns him a few brownie points [boppiedog]
Yes brownie points are definitely good.... All of the cooking? Wow that pretty awesome [goldenapple951]
I think everyone should help out around the house. When I am not working I do a majority of the work but I don't wait on my husband hand and foot!!! We both live here and we both do things around the house. [4ofmyown]
I dont believe you should wait on anybody hand and foot. You lose part of yourself some how...Share yes..slavery no Good points [goldenapple951]
I see nothing wrong with a man helping out with the housework, the only thing better than a man helping with the housework is a man doing all the housework. Well a girl can dream. It think it is just lazy for a man to expect a woman to do everything around the house, especially if she has a job as well, if she does not have a job then fair enough, she should get a larger share. Same if the woman is working and the man is not. [Elixiress]
Yes especially if she has a job.... It goes both ways...A time to come home , relax, energize and maybe share some work together. [goldenapple951]
My husband cleans. Not often but he does do it. And he does a great job. He never cooks though unless I am gone. But my husband does most of the handyman chores and outside work and is the wage earner. So the house is pretty much my domain. I think it is very sweet to help out around the house.happy [Ruthep]
You make a great point that a lot our fellas work outside, the yard, the roof fixing the cars... Sometimes they dont get credit for those thing which I think a are equally important. [goldenapple951]
I think it is not,it good for you that your husband help you.Not same with other guys they never care about the household.And i am lucky too cause my husband help me at home.and he take care of his things.sometimes he cook,bought some food,clean the window and etc.I am lucky to have my husband who help me in everything. [swennerholm]
yes it sounds like you are a lucky gal [goldenapple951]
Im helping my wife in our housework,it doesn't matter with me,sometimes i do cooking and washing our clothes.Its not a big deal for me.helping one another in housework chores is a good habit. [dong1970]
"Helping each other is a good habit" Excellent statement [goldenapple951]
with everything that is happening today, women working instead of their husbands, then it is JUST that guys help in the household chores.. actually, i really find it appealing in a man that he knows how to manage the house.. :)) [marialeovebweeg]
Its really strange because even the kids listen more to their dad telling them "clean this mess up" at least at my home. So every bit helps.. [goldenapple951]
They should help to clean the house to cook and everything,When we got married with my husband I told him first that Im not so good in housework,Its not difficult for me to do those things in house because he always there to help me,sometimes when he dont have a work he cook for us,and we wash our clothes together,Im so happy to have a partner like him. [bobet17]
Sounds like you got a great guy too...thats wonderful [goldenapple951]
i dont think it would be unman for a man do help out with the housework,instead it shows the man's responsibility to the family and the love to his dear wife,hehe~~~~ [lijiahui]
Your absolutely right ...its shows love to his wife. You care about someone you natually want to help and make things nicer for them. Good point... [goldenapple951]
I think the dynamics in each family is different and it depends on respecting each other and what you agree on. I do think we are allequals and thereīsnothing degrading in a husband helping the wife,,,just as some moms go out to work,that doesnīt degrade the husband. Personally iīm a stay at home mom and i enjoy doing it a lot,,,in fact, itīs very rewarding for me to be able to attend my husband in any way i can, the same my kids. And in my family i wouldnt like my husband doing the housework because to me,,,thatīs my part of the deal here and i want to do it. If not,what else would i do around here? [titagdl]
If it works for you that great... Your right every family is different and it doesnt seem you mind . [goldenapple951]
I think it makes a man MORE manly. It is work. It is very often thankless. My hubby helps out. Alot more now that I am pregnant. I appreciate it more than I can say. I think the "Womans work" mentality may be a thing of the past. [ersmommy1]
Defintely more macho...again have you seen those "brawny towel" comercials Sleeves rolled up mopping the floor??? Very sexy lol [goldenapple951]
My husband helps out with the chores maybe twice a year if I'm lucky. He is like your sister-in-law's husband. He figures since he works hard all day, produce manager in a grocery store, he shouldn't have to help with the household chores. I mean he just comes in the house, takes his shoes and clothes off and where they Land is where they stay. I wish I could work, but I can't because I'm paralized in the right side. He seems to throw that in my face whenever I challenge him. I understand that when he comes home he needs to unwind,but if he could just put his shoes in a place I won't trip on them and clothes in the hamper THAT WOULD BE ALL I WOULD NEED! I mean I do the laundry, dishes, and spruce up all that I can plus usually cook supper. He sometimes helps with that, or we both do the cooking. Is it too much of me to ask him to put his clothes away? [sneezeklenex]
No its not too much.. Maybe he's more of a cooker...so let him make delicious meals as you clean.. [goldenapple951]
Good to you, pity to your sister in law. No rules in the world said that husband cannot do some houseworks. My Dad does houseworks, when my mother went to school, teaching. He does the houseworks. Even researchers say that by doing this will improve the relation between husband and wife... So... it's good for you and pity to your sister in law... I hope to make my wife happy by helping her do the houseworks. [rio82solomon]
It refreshing to hear that.. I believe it does help relationships....again remember my favorite quote, "If mama isn't happy no one is happy" [goldenapple951]
Every man should help out with housework and with taking care of the kids. Whether a woman works outside the home or not, she always does more work in the house and with the kids than a man. No man worth being married to would just plop his butt down and expect to be waited on. Not in today's world. [kenzie45230]
Plopping on the couch can be so unappealing to woman. You made a good point.. his kids" after all that's what families do right? Pull together.. [goldenapple951]
yes, i think they should help with household chores too. :D [chiyosan]
Personally, I am of the opinion that husbands should help out with the housework, especially if both husband and wife are working. The family and home is a shared entity between both parties and it is only fair that both share the load of maintaining the house in order. Unless the wife is not working and there are no kids around, perhaps the husband might be spared. [whyaskq]
I love they way you word your opinion... You language skill are excellent and get right to the point... Great points [goldenapple951]
I think that a man should help out as well. It is not unmanly to do house work. I help out around the house everyday. I may not want to, but my wife is not my slave. Everything should be equal in the house. In my home I work and she is a stay at home mom. Alot of dads would look at it as she should be cooking and cleaning all day. I know how hard it is to take care of kids. Just because I work outside the house doesn't mean that she don't work. I am sure that her job is sometimes harder than mine. If i am sick of it at work i walk away. You cant do that with kids. Sorry went off subject. Point is that it is not unmanly to help with housework, and if you have kids and mom is home with them all day then, dad should do even more house work because when you get home that is her chance to take a break. [camodad]
A wonderful thought from a man's point of view.. Yes we need those breaks are we would go bonkers.. [goldenapple951]
Good day... I will be a husband soon and I won't mind helping out in the house. It will be my pleasure. With today's sophisticated and competitive environment we need to help one another. I would help my partner in any way I can. [blackmantra_x]
Thats a wonderful thought. We do live in a very competitve environment you right about that. [goldenapple951]
I am my point of you wife should not expect anything i.e; any help from him. But i say every husband should help her wife when she his work. Its your duty to help and keep her happy always.I hope your lucky and you appreciate him a lot it seems its nice so that he will work more to see you happy your really lucky . Take Care [manoj1502]
Yes thank you...Im very lucky and I appreciate him very much. [goldenapple951]
Hi goldenapple, I've always thought that a man should help out around the house. It's good that your husband likes to help, it shows that he appreciates you. Blessing. [Pose123]
Appreciation ..that is a wonderful word.. Everyone want to feel appreciated.. validated in someway. Im important I matter...thank you [goldenapple951]
Well it helps alot when your spouse takes the time to help you out around the house. My husband is like yours. Since I met him he was staying with his sisters and would wash his dishes, cook, or help out around the house. He just likes to have things clean and organized. He is like you said from the old school. Grew up in Los Angeles among six sisters and a brother but even his brother is like that. I think he was used to being around women who didn't do anything so he did alot but I try to make him not do anything after he gets home. Sometimes he helps and other times he doesn't but I know that if it came down to it he's there. He puts his stuff away and is orderly. Now my first husband, he never even picked up his shoes. He couldn't cook, wash, and expected the wife to do everything. He always criticized me that I wasn't organized or neat, which I wasn't because I had been taught to work work work. I learned to be organized as I grew older. I would feel embarrassed when my husband now would clean and organize so I actually learned from him. happy My mother in law is the same way very organized and clean. As she is getting older it's been harder but she maintains a good home. [andalond]
Life is alot easier when two of you are working to get things done because then that leaves you time to be together.happy [andalond]
My husband does some house work, he does what he wants to do not necessarily what is needed unless I am ill. Then he's very good. [savypat]
Hey every bit helps....some help is better than no help [goldenapple951]
I don't think its unmanly for a man to help out around the house. My husband will help out, he's a good cook, I used to say he was a better cook than I was, but he don't agree..lol. He will help clear the table after we eat, and put stuff away, I'm grateful for that. Have a good day [walijo2008]
Wow there is alot of great man cooks out there..Thats awesome. Clearing the table is an added plus... thank you - have a super day too [goldenapple951]
I certainly don't think there is anything 'unmanly' about a man helping out with the housework. Luckily neither does my husband or my now adult son. Both are much better cooks than I am so why should I do it? As we all work different times and different days then the housework is shared between us all. Even when our children were young and I was a stay at home Mum my hubby still helped out in the evenings and at week-ends, he felt that I was doing enough 'work' in the hours he was out. I never thought about it being unusual as my Grandfather (who brought me up) always did the cooking and a lot of the housework as he was home earlier than either my Mum or my Grandmother. I suppose it was unusual back in the 50's and 60's though. [Annmac]
I know what you mean...when I tell my son Im cooking he say,"oh" When my husband say he's cooking he says," Do you have all your ingredients dad?" ( and his eyes are shining when he is saying it) [goldenapple951]
Personally, I feel it's more manly for a man to help out around the house. In fact my husband does most of the housework and I do the yardwork. We've been married 26 years and he has never acted immasculated (I think that's the word). I have no respect for a "man" that flops his butt in a chair and lets his wife do everything-I call that lazy. Maybe his wife has worked all day and is tired too. Everyone's relationship is different. [mlh8087]
I like to garden -flowers and stuff hubby would cut the grass because I had I back problem..so what every works is great. The key is "active" Most women dont want floppers" lol... [goldenapple951]
yes of course.if he has nothing to do on his habbit he could do some house works like helping each other.in my case my husband do the cooking during satuday and i am doing the cleaning.wink [bombshell]
Hello goldenapple951, I think there is no more distinction between a man and woman work today. Most work are now unisex so there is no more manly or womanly work with regards to work. I do help in the housework, like cooking, cleaning and other stuff that my wife have no time to do. It is good to help in housework it provides you another type of body exercise that you don't have working all day in the office. It is good your hubby still have time to help out. It requires a lot of discipline to do it. It is just easy to flop around the house watching TV when you arrive at work. The family understand since you have been working all day. But looking the other way, everybody has been working all day too. So it should not be an excuse not to help out. Regards. ninjaninjaninja [robert19ph]
Yes your absolutely right ..everyone has been working. Sharing and being considerate to each other is important.. Sometimes there hard days at the office and it nice to come home to a clean house. [goldenapple951]
a husband should help out. If my husband does not, I'll definitely leave him:-) lol. Imagine my hardships bearing our kids and laboring them out till they are of this age. It's the least he can do. [marisriel]
lol...."it's the least he can do" You bet labor is hard.... [goldenapple951]
my husband is also one who is better at cleaning and cooking than me. of course i still do those chores but sometimes he helps out and boy do i get a scolding:P i'm not a very good housekeeper so the house would usually not be up to his satisfaction. thus, he'd be really naggy while cleaning the house together with me. of course, i am irritated when i'm getting the scolding but after that, i do feel oh well the house is clean. hehe and like many have said, i too think it's great that a husband/man helps out with the house. makes a girl feel so much appreciated and loving towards him in my opinion. [sminut13]
i agree too, since the house does look clean, i don't complain too. thanks for responding back. good day [sminut13]
No,it is not unmanly but for me as a Man in my house that it is very great for us Guys to help our wife in any way like cooking, washing dishes, and if my wife is in the work eventhough the house helper is taking care of the baby I play with my child and bring it outside so that the she(baby sitter/house helper) can also clean in the house...... and I am the one who also do the Supermarket. [iyah10]
Awesome...Im sure your a tremendous help [goldenapple951]
My husband helps out a bit, but he also has his messy quirks. He never picks anything up off his desk. If I don't pick it up, he will eventually have a tower of soda cans on his desk. He will also leave his clothes strewn all over the house, but I don't normally pick them up because he will wear the same clothes twice in one week sometimes without washing them. But he will sometimes do the dishes for me, and he usually cooks dinner once or twice a week. If he's home he will bathe the kids on a school night, and wake up with them in the morning to let me sleep. I don't really complain much because we seem to have settled into this routine. He works and I stay home. Usually I don't mind doing the housework, so I won't say anything if he wants to relax when he gets home. Sometimes the housework gets overwhelming and I feel like I need some help, and that's when I'll ask him. If he's in the mood he will clean the majority of the house for me. [katsmeow1213]
My hubby gave up his soda's ...he too had soda's all over the house. He would pick them up so that was great. Yes housework can be overwhelming at times I'm glad you have a helping hand. [goldenapple951]
hi goldenapple am happy that you got this much response..congrats..if u want to get this much response again ,then respond to the discussions started by your friends..happy to be the 87th reply..continue with the good job..sorry i couldnot answer the queston because am not married yet..happy myloting [varoonashok]
nay, i do not think so, its really cute and consedrate of a husband to help in the house work... mine is a cuteee pie to he helps me.. n i love it... its not unmanly... its a very nice thing... [saroodebolan]
I think men should help with all housework. I don't understand why some men feel like they don't have to. I am blessed with a husband who is always trying to help me out. I think it makes our relationship better because I can always count on him for help and he understands what I go through everyday. Of course, I think it should go both ways. I help him whenever he needs it to. We understand each other and we always help each other. I think all couples should always be willing to help each other! [hmkoct5]
I've been helping out more with the housework, because I'm at home more. But I love taking care of my home. Since we've just moved to a new place, I really don't even let my husband clean too much at all, I'd rather let him rest. When we lived in our other place, he did all the carpet cleaning becaue we have a Toy Poodle who had a problem with going indoors. Thank God that's over. But I do all the cleaning. He takes out the trash, unless it's from me or my dog, usually I'll do that. If I see soemthing getting dirty or out of place I take a few minutes to fix it so I don't end up cleaning a big mess. I usually was my dishes every night by hand. I enjoy that. lol. [mrsgoodygoody00]
Couples should help each other.My brother cooked, cleaned and did laundry for his family.My husband also cook but i do the cleaning most of the time and we did laundry together.I don't think its umanly for them to help out their wives.Its no longer a matter of the gender , its how the couple share everything for the family. [msedge]
I think its real annoying if the man just Watches TV and sinks in to the couch instead of helping around. My hubby thanfully loves to help me around the huse and that way, I rely on him for so many things. Since my secnd one has been born he has been seeing to the laundry regularly and I am so thankful to him for that, as the kid keeps needing me and I have a semi automatic machine so many times when I start I am not able to finish off doing the laundry in one go so it comes as a real blessing when he takes charge and to top it he has been doing all my grocery shopping too. It saves me a lot of effort and time. I love him for that. [mansha]
Thats wonderful Im sure you really appreciate the help. I dont like guys that slump on the couch either and dont bother to get up ...really whether its a man or a woman it just laziness..and its not appealing at all [goldenapple951]
No I don't think that is unmanly to help out in the house. Aafter all both men and women eat and make the house dirty. So both of them should help in the house chores. [ronaldinu]
"both men and women eat and make the house dirty" you hit the nail on the head...excellent point [goldenapple951]
I think it is very nice for a husband to help out with house work. My husband does alot around here and understands that is not always easy to empty the dishwasher when your 1 year old is pulling at your leg and taking everything out of the dishwasher before you can and then your 3 year old begging you for something to drink or having to use the potty. Things get done it just takes longer with kids so its nice to have some help. My husband has been working alot of hours lately so I don't expect him to do as much around the house. Alot of men think that being a stay at home mom is so easy and it would be easier for us to get things done but its not always an easy job. You can't say kids can you sit there while I do this or you will have to wait for lunch while I do the clothes. lol [mflower2053]
I have to repeat what the first responder said. It is unmanly for the husband to not help with the housework. If the man and the woman both have full time jobs outside of the home then I think the housework should be shared 50/50. But if the woman doesn't work than I think she should be doing the majority of the work but the man should still help out once in awhile, even if only on the weekends. When I wasn't working I did most of the housework during the week and then on the weekends if something more needed to be done then my husband would help me. He always helped with the laundry and with the cooking. Mind you, he loved to cook so for him it was a joy and not a helping me thing. But then when I was working full time outside of the home, he helped with all of the chores every day. He also shared with the cooking and we did it together. Alrighty then, talk to you later my friend, Have a good mylotting day, Chris [chrislotz]
I definitely think a husband should help out with the housework. He helps make the mess, he should help clean it up. A wife/mother cannot clean up all the mess by herself, especially if she also works outside the home. I'm still trying to get my husband to help out. I wouldn't mind it if he just put the dishes in the sink, or the clothes in the laundry basket. Sometimes, it takes me yelling at him, or throwing things. I know that's not always the best, but I get really mad when I'm cleaning, and he sees me cleaning, and he just sits there watching television, working on the computer, or playing the Wii. [CRSunrise]