everything like that? Since my husband retired, he has been home all day. Now I do not mind when he is downstairs fixing up the basement, but in the morning, he spends the time, watching Tv and although I can do the laundry, and the dishes, I would like to get in the living room and do more than just near the couch, I want to vacuum the whole room. I could do it while he is downstairs, but sometimes he has to turn part of the power off. So how do you all manage, now that your husband is at home?
[question posted by suspenseful]
responses and comments:
You dont mind him fixing up your basement but you moan at him having some r&r. You cant have the best of both worlds and maybe a bit of communication between yourselfs could solve this issue ?? [mark17779]
It is just that I want to vacuum the living room, and when do I do it? Get up in the middle of the night? He is watching TV in the morning, and the evening, and I do not feel right of having the vacuum on while he watches his favorite show. When he is on the computer, that I can do it, but then I am also on the other computer as well, and that leads to another problem. And I am also fixing up the basement as well. So if he is down there, I am helping up the studs up, holding them up while he nails them in. [suspenseful]
I would leave the vacuum in the middle of living room for him to vacuum when he is done watching. Housework need to be shared. When I was small, my dad was always in basement "working" on something. In reality, he was just taking his time off, because he didn't help my mother. My mother in the other hand was doing shopping, cleaning and cooking. I have learn how to be demanding. HUGS [polachicago]
My husband will help out but he is the one who says "you missed a spot" so I prefer to do the vacuuming myself. I am, however, scared of heights so I get him to change the light bulbs. (My arm cannot reach and I am afraid of falling off the chair.) [suspenseful]
I am so thankful my husband isn't home all the time because I know what you are saying.. When he takes 1 or 2 weeks vacation time and is sitting at home, I can't clean the house, it is horrible..thumbdown [carmelanirel]
Now I am in your position of having him home all the time..He hurt his back about 3-4 weeks ago and who knows when he will go back..I am about to loss it, and he is not allowed to do anything because of his back injury, I feel like I have another child in the house..angry [carmelanirel]
Kick him out til you get through cleaning. Its hard to clean a room decently if someone in it. Hubby still works but moms here all day so I have to wait until they go to bed. [lucy02]
I wait until he is out the room and at some distance (like in the garage) so I can clean what I can without problem. But now he has had his stroke, he is laying on the couch more often when he is not on the computer. And when he wants to exercise, I have to go to the Mall with him in case he loses his balance, so I have no time alone to clean the house. So I am stuck until I do not have to worry about him falling. [suspenseful]
Well mine is not home all the time but i do know how you feel.I have to do a lot of my cleaning on the week-ends and if he is not in front of the tve he is napping so i just clean the roos that he is not in and when he moves i do the living room or if i am in a hurry i make him move,groans and all.Good uck [kebpete]
That sounds like me when he was working on Afternoon shift. He would be sleeping until ten and then he would go in the living room, and by the time he went to work, well I was busy doing everything else and it is hard to vacuum and watch Tv at the same time. lol [suspenseful]
Mine isn't retired yet, I'm the one retired. I truly enjoy my alone time to schedule housework when I want or go shopping when I want to. He retires next summer and I am not looking forward to it. I know that sounds mean, but he is one of those neat freaks who has to comment on everything I do being done "wrong." It drives me crazy. He is perfectly happy with the end result of my "wifely duties" but is just one of those men who is the only one alive whose method of doing anything is the right way. Hope I can find him a hobby by next year. lol [nova1945]
That's for sure. Only she was starting to grow senile when he was growing up so i did not have to worry about that. My husband came from a large family. [suspenseful]
I understand what you mean. I have read some of the other responses and it seems like others feel the same way we do. It's not that I don't appreciate my husband being around because he does a lot of handy things. He's a carpenter, but when it comes tot he house cleaning I like to do it when everybody is out of the house so I can just get everything all done at once. [dfinster]
That is how I feel. I do not like anyone in the house when I am cleaning unless it is to move heavy furniture or change a light bulb or if something breaks, but for just vacuuming the floor or washing the floor, and putting away the dishes, I can do that well myself without any help. [suspenseful]
Hello there, firstly I would say you are the lucky one as your hubby will help to fix the basement. My hubby used to stay in his studio and hardly helped the housework though he was at home until recently he realizes he has to help the housework. So you should appreciate what you have. In order to make things work out easier for you, you may suggest your hubby to install a new switch or find a new way that can leave the power on all the time. There is always a solution for everything. [Madona1]
He cannot do it until he gets over his stroke. We were just about to call the inspectors and put in the electrical outlets (not that he needs to, he is good at electricity, but he had to change the plumbing) when I told him that he was sick, so he went to the doctor and they told him he had a slight stroke. So now he has to get better. So there are no more surprises as to find out what breaker works for what, that is until he can move around a little better. The bonus part about it, we are getting out for coffee more often - mall walking. [suspenseful]
I don't have a husband...but I would say that whenever he is downstairs I would ask him to please leave the power on for a few more minutes so that I can vacuum the whole floor so that I can get what I need to get done...and I am sure that he would let you do that...I mean I am sure that he loves you and that he would be willing to do that for you so that it would make your job easier for you to get finished...just my opinion on the subject.... JHL930 [jhl930]
I can do that. We will not have any more problems until the inspectors come in, and that will not happen until he gets over his stroke. Then our sons have to come for their pool table, the old computers, I have to take all their old books to Value Village, get rid of the old medical books, etc. That is going to take some time. [suspenseful]
be glad he is at home Mine is deceased! [revdauphinee]
You don't know my husband he likes a clean house. I also do not like anything on the floor. It is just that I also have been brought up not to disturb anyone so there is this conflict there. I also do not think that i should not just let him lay there on the couch when the carpet needs cleaning just because he is still alive. I doubt you did that when your husband was around. [suspenseful]
be glad hes a t home !Mine is dead! [revdauphinee]
I wish that when we bought this house, the previous owners had put a list near the breaker box so that he would not have to try this switch and call upstairs, "what lights are turned off?" And not only that, they had too many outlets on one breaker, he had to put a switch downstairs, but we still have to screw off the light bulb in the one in the used to be basement office, they had a second phone down there, and they took it out. You would not know all we had to do to get the house in decent condition. Now he's had this stroke and he cannot move as fast and he is younger than I. Why when we went to the mALL, this lady assumed he was in the Mall Walking Club - those who are senior citizens and he is not 61 yet. [suspenseful]
Although I don't have a husband I do know how you feel. Right now my brother is living with us and he does almost nothing around the house to help out. He is always in my way when I'm cleaning and to be honest I hate it. He only does something if I pointedly ask him to and then bug him on it. He at least knows enough not to try and say I'm in his way or anything like that. If I'm moping he will move from the computer and go outside (we don't have carpets) but overall he just sits there and watches me do work he knows I shouldn't be doing (I have a lot of injuries and doing housework puts me in a lot of pain) but if I waited for him to do them they would never get done. If I'm doing something though and he is in the way I'll tell him to move. If he doesn't like it too bad. If need be tell your husband I'm going to vacuum the room on these days at this time. I need to do the whole room on these days so you need to be out of the room for the 15 minutes while I do it. Thank you for letting me vent on him. It helped believe me. Now if I could just get him to move out I'd be happy. [emeraldisle]
I suppose any relative or member of the family who prevents you from cleaning a room, let alone the whole house, is not that helpful. At least the lazy bum, excuse me your brother, could help, but I suppose his little pinky hurt and he is so tired from thinking of all those excuses to not work. At least, my husband now has an excuse. He had a small stroke. Maybe you can sneak all his stuff out of his room and put them in boxes and leave them outside. Or maybe do not set his plate for dinner. lol [suspenseful]
ugh I can never get anything done when my husband is home or even when both my kids and he is home. I just do not even bother, he does not help with much unless I ask him and that is hard enough. anyway, it is nice that you are getting him to do some work even if it is in the basement. That is really nice. [sanell]
I really should vacuum, but it is hard to do with my husband watching the television. And when our sons were home, it was very hard to get anything done. I had to wait until they were at school. Then to top it off, my husband decided he liked the afternoon shift, so could not vacuum in the morning. So it does not seem much different since he is now home. Now he had a stroke and cannot finish off the basement and our sons have not picked up their pool table yet. sad [suspenseful]
Wow. I don't have a whole lot of advice. My husband is only 30 so he is no where near retirement. I don't know what I would do if he were home all day every day. As it is, on the weekends when he is here I get virtually no cleaning done. [moneyandgc]
It is driving me batty. Right now, I am on myLot, typing away, but the only time I can get something done is when he sleeping, and that just is the dusting and sweeping floors, and taking stuff out to the garbage. The vacuuming and stuff that requires much noise, I have to wait until he is up. Now with his stroke, he cannot fix up the basement and I have to wait until he is otherwise occupied, to vacuum the living room. [suspenseful]
well never had that problem for mine always helped around the house would even think of things for us to do together he just didnt come in the puter room unless he needed something [Lakota12]
nope dont want to rent again to hard making htese house payment s sort of like enting ya haeve to have the payment up every month! [Lakota12]
Oh My! I know what you feel like. My husband has always worked either day shift or for the past 3 years he has worked a swing shift, weekends he was on days, mon & tues he was on 2nd and wed. he worked 3rd. Well he waited for the opportunity to go to a different shift. We thought 3rd would be great. He always enjoyed it in the past. He switch to 3rd 2 weeks ago and I am ready to divorce him!!! hahaha...not really. We knew it would be an adjustment, but man this is rough. I can't clean when he is underfoot all the time. He is the type if I am doing dishes, he hollers, hey hun, leave them, we'll get them later. No I want to do them NOW! My mother in law is due to come down this weekend for 6 weeks. Last wednesday, since he had 3 days off, he decided to start cleaning his computer room. Hello, I had planned on cleaning the house completely over the weekend. Did it happen? No Yesterday morning, (Monday) before he got home from work, I finished putting the stuff back in his computer room. I couldn't even get into the spare room. Tonight I hope he will sleep for a while, becuase I plan on cleaning the kitchen and mopping the floor, tomorrow morning, I will be running the sweeper and dusting before he gets home. Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart and would be devastated if something were to happen to him before me. But lands. hahaha. I know it will get better. So suspenseful, I know how you feel for sure!! Good luck my friend! [PamE53]
My husband decided that he loved the afternoon shift when he was working and I thought, "OH boy,the only time I can get the vacuuming done is early in the morning and he will be sleeping," so I have to find another time to clean and I know what you mean about husbands being 'helpful' They do not know where to put stuff. [suspenseful]
my husband works overnights - so I have a slightly different problem - that is, he is asleep during the day hours and I do not wish to disturb his sleep. We just have to learn how to work and function around each other. there are always solutions. I would vacuum during your husband's television commercial breaks. he will only have to lift his feet once - unless you make him a treat and leave it in the kitchen - then when it comes time for you to vacuum under his chair let him know "sweets, I made you your favorite treats - they are on the counter, my love" then when he gets up to get them you can quickly vacuum under his chair - and have that done, plus you will have made him happy for your thinking of him so fondly as to make him a special snack... of course that might backfire if he decides to eat it over your freshly vacuumed floor, hehe. [Modestah]
He would get the crumbs in he sofa and then I would have to wait until he moves his feet. Oh and those commercial breaks. That is when he wants his tea. As for the sweets, he is too busy watching Tv to go to the kitchen. In fact, I make some and wind up eating most myself since he wants me to put them on the coffee table and there is enough stuff as it is. He uses it as his plan work table. We got designs on how to fix the basement, and I hope one for the back yard, but I doubt it. [suspenseful]
I would give him a choice. Either go somewhere else out of your way so that you can do what you want to do, or leave the vacuum cleaner for him to vacuum the room once he's finished watching TV. Maybe I'm cynical but I just have a hunch he would go somewhere else and leave you free to get on with what you want to do lol! [Stiletto]
Well he can always go to the computer room, as long as he does not want to listen to his radio plays and I do the vacuuming then. That is the main worry. I am supposed to vacuum once a week and sometimes I have to leave for two weeks. I pick up the papers, but how can you vacuum when your husband is watching a movie with no commercials? I will manage somehow. When he does listen to his radio plays, I wonder why he does not use the head phones. [suspenseful]
Just as well my husband works or else I'll be telling him to move his butt from the lounge so I can clean it up haha. I did that on Saturday when he and our son were playing PSP2 games. I interrupted them and said, sorry mummy's got to clean the lounge. They mumbled and grumbled but moved anyways haha and they both helped! [maddysmommy]
At least he does not have a PlayStation. Then I would never get anything done and our sons would decide to come over after work, or they would buy Playstations themselves and there would go the evening. My husband also had a stroke so he cannot fix up the basement and that is rather hard on me. So I guess I have to wait for the commercials and for him to get on the computer. [suspenseful]
set ground rules, let him know when you are going to clean get out of the way. [winterose]
I guess I will have to just do it during the commercials. [suspenseful]
hello suspenseful i hear ya, my hubby is on call 24/7 with his job and it is very hard to get any major housework done during the daytime when he is home. lol. i know exactly where you are coming from. and i do not know what to tell you about him turning off half of the power in the house? what's that about? so i work my housework schedule around his job. when he's home i usually hang on the computer, do simple things, like make the beds, laundry stuff like that, empty trash cans, then when he is gone working, i will mop, vaccuum stuff like that. lol. that is the only way that i can figure out how to get my major housework done is when everybody is gone from the house. have a wonderful evening. [RLFinNash]
It is hard when a man is home all day but i just have to go around him because he watches TV every day all day long and hardly moves...I don't really know what to say except i wish he was working..lol [slickcut]
My husband took early retirement. Mind you that is a good thing, since he saved a lot, had a good pension, and it seems that quite a lot of retirements from the railway where he worked are getting strokes so we at least had a Holiday in Alaska, and in the Prince Edward Islands, but I sure wish he would get better, so we can go to Florida in November. I wish he would get over his stroke, and we could get the basement done. [suspenseful]
It is very hard sometimes. I usually try to make sure he has something to occupy himself some place else in the house if I have to have that area for a while. I also make sure that he lets me have my time and space to get my work done also. [stephcjh]
I really should be doing the vacuuming when he is in the computer room, unless he is listening to his radio plays. Then he wants to have complete silence. Why he does not want me to talk. And I figured it could be done during the commercials, but when we watch movies on HBO and TCM, there are no commercials, so I have to find a different way to get things done. I usually wait until he is out, but then when he is mowing the lawn, he wants me there as well. [suspenseful]
hi suspenseful, my friend, for us its a bit of reversed roles in this household. My husband is disabled and so he cant work and I am the main breadwinner of the household. But I think I can relate to the problem you are having now. Simply as I face same thing when I am on sick leave or on Vacations and I am home all the time. Maybe most men are different but I somehow do not feel well when my husband is doing the household chores, except shopping as he has the drivers license and I dont have one. I cant help him right now as I have some problems with my vertebral discs and cant move without pain. So I have told him last Friday which was first day of sick leave that he should not work in that little bit of a household too much. Simply as I feel uncomfortable and a bit ashamed when he does and I am at home. When I have vacations and am at home then I think he should also have vacations from housework as much as possible and I always tell him to slow down with it. [book1962]
I do not feel comfortable with him doing the housework or even helping. The exception being moving something heavy and since I am scared of heights and get dizzy when I look down, changing the lightbulbs. I have no idea what I will do if he dies before me, an invention that lowers the ceiling. [suspenseful]
My hubby is home all of the time too...but touch the wood it works fine !!..he just sets too and does some of the work...which is great...some women i know dont like their hubbys `joining in` and sharing the work...but it suits me fine. Maybe his way of doing things is different from mine...but im not worried about it....he also pops to town for the bits and pieces we need every day...it keeps him occupied...plus i get a little peace whil he is gone!!! I always thought than when he was at home all of the time..life would become difficult ...but i was very wrong..in actual fact ive been lucky..life is better... [ruby222]
My husband is suppose to fix up the basement, but he had a stroke, so his left side is weaker, so he cannot do much lifting on that side. So I have to wait until he recovers. So now he is on the sofa in the morning, and in the afternoon, we go to the Mall or someplace to do some shopping. He is also waiting for an opening at our city hospital because the physiotherapy is paid for by the province. Else he has to pay it and Blue Cross only pays for so much. [suspenseful]
My husband does most of the housework. Control freak! I'm not even allowed to touch the kitchen! lol. Maybe you could get your hubby to do the vacuuming for you. [newzealtralian]
He does vacuum for me, but then he starts to comment on what I have missed. I find it easier to do the housework myself. And besides I really cannot trust that he would not throw away something necessary. Then a while later, he wants to know where it is and I have to tell him, that he threw it away. [suspenseful]
It does completely change my routine if my husband is home during the day. It seems as though he is always in my way of cleaning or he doesn't want me to do anything but watch tv with him and I don't watch tv during the day. I would ask him politely if he would vacuum the living room. He should do it if he doesn't want you to do it when you want too. [carolscash]
You should see my husband when a Harry Potter movie comes on. He wants me to watch it and would you also believe he also watches the Judge shows. At least he does not watch soap operas, but then neither do it. It is when there is a good movie on in the day time, and then even I cannot do the housework. I am a Thin Man fan myself, and during the Nick and Nora movies, nothing gets done. [suspenseful]
My husband is home all day and does the housework. He is unemployed and actually enjoys housework. He is not a slacker by any sense of the term. [ElusiveButterfly]
My husband cannot do much because of his stroke. I am waiting until he works on the basement. I asked him if we could hire someone to do the basement, but he said he'd wait. The only housework I hate is changing the light bulbs that are in the ceiling. Scared of heights, the rest I can do. [suspenseful]
Now that your husband was not at home all these days, he doesn't know about your routine works isn't it? Try to explain to him what you feel, and how you feel comfortable with him, when he is at home and what all you were doing when he was not there. Like am not experienced, its just my suggestion! Be cool, you will gradually get acquainted to changed environment.happy [ramyashreesk]
He is home all day now, except when he gets his hair cut. He is retired, and now he had a stroke so he cannot even go down to fix up the basement and has difficulty going down the stairs. It takes him like forever. So now I have to wait until he gets better or vacuum around him. The other part like sweeping and dusting and throwing away is fine. It is just the vacuuming part, because he has to move his feet and I have to wait until the commercials are on. That is when I do most of my vacuuming. [suspenseful]
I could only dream. LOL! I would give near anything if my husband could stay home with us all day long. We have dreamed of our own business, at home. We get along great and my son and I would love it! We look so forward to weekends and we miss 'daddy' so much when he leaves on Monday morning. I do housework on weekends and it doesn't really affect it if my man is home or not. I am not sure what to tell you on that aspect, just that I envy you! :) [Irishfrndly65]
Well there should be a compromise. Even when he was working, it was the afternoon shift, then I could not get any vacuuming done or turn the dishwasher early in the morning or use the garbage disposer. Then I would have to wait until the late afternoon, but that is when the tv shows came on, so the only time I could was around ten or eleven. Now he is retired, and he had a slight stroke so he cannot do much. and I wanted to enjoy our retirement. [suspenseful]
I have a hard time running the vacuum when my husband is home because he is either still in bed or when he gets up on the weekends he goes straight for the couch. I know I should just do it, but it's part respect while he's sleeping and resentment when he's awake. [craisy]