Do you let your children clean and tell them what a wonderful job they are doing even if they are not. Many professionals say you need to do that when they are little not to discourage them.
But some parents will criticize them and tell them not this is not right, you have to learn how to do it the right way.
I tried to follow the non critical example when my son was really young but when he was a teenager I tried to show him the proper way though I can't say he always listened to me.
How did you show your children?
[question posted by winterose]
responses and comments:
My children are all still young the oldest is 6. So my younger 2 are still at the age where they think cleaning is still fun and "try" to do it. I praise them even though it is done wrong because at least they are putting forth the effort to help out mommy. My oldest is in the defiant age where i have to argue everything with her to get her to help. But when she was little she loved to help out,and i would try and tell her that she was not doing something right and i think now that she is older she just dint want to help because she jsut figures she will do it wrong anyway and then i will tell her that is not right and have her do whatever again. I supose that once they are all older that i will have to make sure they learn the proper way of doing things but i am hoping that praising them now will help them keep wanting to help instead of turning them against it [tina12679]
I think they key is to start them with simple tasks or to do a task WITH them at first. That way they not only learn how to do it correctly, but they understand teamwork and other related social skills. [skewedsolipsism]
so that is how you taught your children? [winterose]
I think that is the only way to teach them. When my daughter was just 3 years old I had her helping me make cakes and things. I let her stir the eggs. I let her do a lot. She stood up in a chair or sat on the counter when I was working to help me. We'd make cookies together. She washed dishes. She loved playing in the water. I never discouraged her from helping me. It would have been so much easier to let her get out of the way and I do it myself, but she was always wanting do the things she saw me doing in the kitchen. Now she can cook very well when she wants to. [charlene2350]
It is a combination for me. Sometimes, I praise and tell them they did a good job, even though it is not up to my expectation , to motivate and to encourage them. At other times, I would tend to correct them and tell them how they are suppose to do it. I think it really depends on my mood for that day. [wdiong]
Well, as of now i am not yet married, but then my parents thought me how to clean things. If i was wrong in it then she used to patiently tell me the way to clean it, but then, if i continue to do the same mistakes then she starts shouting. Being a kid, we dont understand what actually our parents are trying to say, anyway, i think that we should teach our kids the way to clean things but then, right way of explaining will surely make them to work out in a proper manner. [mdchennai]
Yes what you are telling is exactly true and valid one. We need to teach our childrens from their little age, so that they can able to handle the situations self in their elder age. [jaiganeshe2007]
at a certain age,every child should do some housework.the parents should make them to do the housework by giving them the encouragement. [ajjooo]
My son is 4 1/2 and has been helping out with basic chores for quite sometime now like vacuuming (small areas), folding laundry (easy things), washing dishes (mostly cutlery and plastic stuff), drying dishes (mostly cutlery and putting them away) and dusting. I always tell him what a wonderful job he is doing while at the same time showing him how I think it should be done. Sometimes its not always done the way I want but at least he has given it a try and enjoyed doing it at the same time. I'm sure when he is older he will learn to do it his own way anyway, regardless of what I have taught him. [maddysmommy]
Both my girls are below 10 years old. I instilled on them their duty in sharing household chores. They will fix their bed upon waking up. It doesn't matter if the blanket is not rightly folded. All the toys should be placed in the proper boxes. Any little piece of paper should go to the trash can. I like to see them starting to get used to the idea of partaking in household chores. My youngest girl even know how to brew coffee for me. Slowly and eventually, they will learn how to do things accordingly. [charms88]
I always praise my kids when they help out around the house, even though it might not be done correctly. But i try to show them how to do things right by getting them to help me with new things that they havent done before. As long as they try to do things that is fine by me even if i sometimes have to redo things when they arent around [kayrod2]
When my children were first learning to clean I told them what a good job they were doing than later went back and re-did it myself. As they aged I slowly re-showed them again and again until they got it right. By time they were teenagers, when it came to housework, they pretty much knew how to do it and were fussier than me. lol Susan [susaneverson]
As a kid, I was taught to clean my room in order to get my allowance. If it was not cleaned properly, I did not get the money. It went into a jar till I did it right. Money always works. You put in the effort and you get paid for it. [spiritwolf52]
nobody likes to do housework! i remember as a child, every saturday before we could play-we all had chores to finish up. and since we wanted to play,,it happened. none of us every argued about it, we just did it. Now, ny own children, (i have 3-2 out of the house and a high school senior),, they know how to clean, but we are so busy that i just don't have time to argue, and yell to get the jobs done. thats the problem we face having to be a 2 parent working situation. I do get some of them to help, but honestly when they were younger, they were much better about it! [lpetges]
Great topic! I think it is based on age. My 7 year old, I encourage him to help out, and when he does I tell him "Good Job!" or "Way to Go!". Alot of times I will tell him how to do something, or give him suggestions on how to make the chore easier. Now my 12 yr. old (stepdaughter) on the other hand, puts no effort into housework. If I have her do the dishes, 10 out of the 15 will still be dirty. I tried showing her how to get them clean, but she says her way is faster. I told her if she has to do them over, then it isn't any faster. That is pretty much her motto on all chores or housework. I wasn't here when she was younger, and her mother was never a person who cleaned things up, so I think she has gotten alot of that from what she remembers. Or it could be the typical "Your not my mother, I'm not listening" routine. [gypsylady28]
I think childrens shouldn't be put to work just if they want, cause they will have enought time to work in life. When they are little they should enjoy that beautifull age and when they become teenagers they should have some works to do, but not much cause usually to much work given by the parents tot the children makes conflicts between them. [brutteforcce]
In my experience with my child, that is what I did. I started off telling her to pick up her toys and to help me pick up things in the living room to put away when I vacuumed. She also had those little minitature vacuum cleaner, and the mop and broom/dustpan set that was her size and she helped me clean like that too. It was so cute! When you make it fun like a game it is easier to get them to start cleaning. Now she is 12, and it is not so easy to get her to clean up, but she does. She helped me mop, vacuum, cleaned her room and tidy up yesterday and she did a very good job. I didn't have to tell her anything. I showed her once and after that she did a very nice job. I laughed because last night, someone dropped crumbs on the floor and she was very upset about how hard she worked ont he floor and someone was so inconsiderate. Of course it was her dad. He is the slob hahaha! [mamasan34]
I think you have the right idea. But it is normal for teenagers not to want to listen. Kelly [kelly3]
When our son was young we did not give him much of cleaning to do. We did teach him to run errands. He then got used to handling money. Now that he is grown up, we have shifted our attention to asking him to share the daily chores around the house. We started with asking him to wash his dinner plate and a few other vessels with it. It has become a habit with him now. He still runs errands like he used to. But other than that he likes to be with his friends more than us. We don't force him to change except when it comes to his studies. [netbuster]
In our set up,female children are trained by their mothers to engage themselves in household chores including cleaning, cooking and shopping .The training imparted by the mothers help them quite a lot in their future married life . [sukumar794]
hello. that's how it is done here in the philippines, too... in some families. but in our family, me and my two younger brothers were trained to do almost everything at home.. dishes, cooking, laundry, cleaning and everything. does not matter what our gender is. [maryannemax]
i am not a parent yet. but my mom trained me and my siblings well starting when we were just kids. she did not criticize us back then. rather, she appreciates everything we do to help around. plus, whenever she asks us something to do at home, she asked us nicely and explains why it was necessary to do so. listening to her, we follow. at the right age when we can understand things more, it's when my mom tells us how to do things right. she criticizes already in a good and non-hurtful way. and now, we learn to be independent and help out at home. [maryannemax]
I let my children do housework, they need to learn how to clean for when they become adults, they wont be slobs. [swtnss]
My parents have not teach me how to do the household chores actually. I have learned it on my own. I think it is must if you also doit as well in that way you could partake some knowledge from them. If they could show you doing household chore eventually they would learn the habit of doing it. [Deane_2005]
I have young childeren at this moment so I don't teach them how to clean jet. I think they can learn by watching you cleaning. Childeren like to copy. Mayby let them just do it together with you. Make a game out off it. Compliments are alway good. [Raissa1967]
I am a babysitter and I watch little kids. I always have someone criticizing me for the way i teach the kids. I watch kids who have like add or adhd and they learn just a bit differently. I was also told as a kid if your going to do something then its worth doing right. so I encourage the kids to help everywhere but the kitchen for two reasons 1) I believe the parents should have an area thats all for the parents and kids and 2)if i am cooking in my small kitchen i dont want them to get hurt or if i am cutting my hand goes numb and the knife likes to slip right out of my hand so i keep them back for there safety. usually i give them a nap at this time or have them watch seseam street. but when they help in the other areas i tell them they are doing good but there technic requires some tweeking. then i take there hand in mine and show them how to do it. i was told teach them young because when they're teens they think they know everything and when they are adults they are too stubborn to try a new technic. [jadlin]
I have always allowed my children to help with housework and when the girls were younger, I would go back and redo the things that they done wrong when they were in bed. Now that they are both older, I try to correct what they do as they need to know the proper way to do things as they will one day have a home of their own and possibly a family of their own and they will need to do things right. [carolscash]
Little children like to imitate the adults. That's my observation with my nephews and nieces. My nephew would always want a share with cleaning and moping the floor when the maid does it. I felt it was a good way to teach him "do" the housework. He need not do it properly, but at least he develop a helping heart. And kids when you praise them, they are more than happy to help with the housework. I would not say asking them to do the housework for the sake of doing. [whyaskq]
My little girl's cleaning expertise puts me to shame! She's one of those born neat niks. Once, when she was about 18 months, she tried to clean the kitchen floor with a wet paper towel. Recently, she demanded that I allow her to vacumn. And, while I was busy hovering over her to make sure that she didn't knock out any of the light fixtures, she completed the vacumning and began to roll up the cord. Not bad for a three year old. Some people are just born with it, I guess. I have always tried my best to set a good example. When she was a baby, I'd put her in her bouncer, and let her watch me while I washed the floor. Cleaning has always been my way of coping with stress and anxiety. I think she just picked up her cleaning techniques by watching me. As far as imperfections in her cleaning style, I have no right to complain. Any effort on her part is more than appreciated! [beautyqueen26]
your daughter is amazing. [winterose]
I haven't yet. Although we have shown Jake that when he drops something he puts it into the bin which he does and he also likes helping but he normally ends up doing mistakes. (bless him) He likes to take the washing out the washing machine yet he drops it on the floor and runs off because he thinks he's done something wrong. hehe ~Joey [joey_matthews]