Many of my friends have become house wives, stay at home moms etc, this was by choice on their part. But there I have a select few who say that I am wasting my degree as I am choosing to stay at home with my children. I do not on the other hand tell them that they are neglecting their children by letting a day care raise them, as I do not feel this way.
My husband and I made the decision that it was best for our family for me to be at home with the children. After graduating from college I worked in my field for close to 15 years, so I did my time so to speak. I however still have people tell me and make the statement what a waste of an education. When they hear that I am not staying at home.
what is your opinion????I feel that each person, family should choose what is best for their family and their situation, not everyone can be a sahm, and children thrive in day care centers. I do not believe that one is better than the other. Just different.
[question posted by meandmy3]
responses and comments:
I don't think that you have wasted your Education as you have used it for 15 years. Even if you had got your degree and then had a child straightaway I still don't think it would have been a waste. Bringing up children is surely one of the most important jobs anyone could do,maybe THE most important job. When your children are older you could easily go back to work if you wanted too. Everybody should do what they feel comfortable with in this sort of situation. I actually think that the people who commented on your life choices are a little judgemental and maybe a bit rude. [mike1976]
I agree with you 100% I can not believe how rude some people can be. like I said I try not to critize moms, instead I try to encourage them. The last thing we need is to be harder on eachother. [meandmy3]
Education is never wasted! You worked in your field for 15 years and then choose to be a stay at home mom! Even if you hadn't worked in the field, you earned your degree, broke your butt studying and such, it was not a waste of time. This is something you should be completely proud of. I think if anyone says this is a waste, I think they are jealous of the fact that you can be a stay at home mom. Alot of people just can't swing that financially, and they are probably the people who are most likely to open their mouths and say something silly, like your degree is a waste. [Geminibreeze]
You are right, that is who I get it from the most. I on the other hand try not to make it a big deal around them that I can chose not to work. [meandmy3]
I think that when they say "what a waste of an education" they really mean that you aren't using your education to get a good job and have more money. Most people go into college with the notion that you are going to college so you can find a good job and be paid than your average joe. I think people should go to college to find something of interest and just pursue that interest and by doing that your already putting your education at its highest...well high enough that its acceptable.Being a housewife just means that you've decided to live as a housewife becuase thats what you wanted and this is in no way a waste of an education becuase you already took part in your interest. Now going to college and attaining the highest paying job out there then later you tell yourself you hate your job and you do this over a period of years, then thats a waste of an education. Then again I understand that you have to provide for your family and be with them and all the problems that come along to you but thats just life. [Blackw1nged]
Your comments are appreciated. I agree that I did not waste my time, college is about so much more than what you make when you get out. [meandmy3]
15 years and waste? Whoever said that must think that education is a source of money and nothing else. I think that working overtime can cause a problem to the children as well. WE were having this discussion on whether a woman working or a housewife would be better able to take care of children. Contrary to most views, it was noticed that career woman had a better chance to raise her children in a better manner because she can teach them about how to interact with world. Any woman who is educated will give education the priority over other. bournehappy [bournecaindelta]
I do not agree that working women have an advantage over non working women to teach their children about the real world. As most of us worked prior to having children we do have a clue as to what it is like out there. [meandmy3]
I don't think that housewives who have degrees are a waste of education. Who is going to teach the children? My mom has taught me many things and she is a housewife. She didn't even go to college but she read a lot of books when she was younger. I think that if you decided to go back to work it would just make things easier for you to have an education but it was never a waste. You can teach your kids lots of stuff because you have experience as a housewife,working in your field, and working hard to get a degree. [AskAlice]
my thoughts exacatly. My education was not a waste and I did work for some time. [meandmy3]
You have every right to raise your children yourself if that's what you want to do and it's really no one's business other than yours and your husband's. I do agree that everyone's situation is different and it amazes me that people still feel compelled to comment on the personal choices of others in this area. [spalladino]
I agree, that is why I never try to tell working moms that I am in some way better than them because I do not work. Each family has to do what is best for them. In stead of giving moms a hard time we should support one another [meandmy3]
thats great that you worked all those years after graduating! you used your education, got the experience and can easily go back to work having that experience. my b/f's daughter, what a waste. she went to college, graduated top in her class and got married right after graduation. she just HAD to have kids so 10 months after graduation, here comes kid #1. i think that she just didnt want to go to work and only went to college to look for a husband who would have an education/degree to get a good job and be able to provide for her 100%. she hasn't worked a day in her life and has no intentions which is a big waste of education. she's book smart but not street smart (no common sense). pretty pathetic! [4pawsx4]
Her education is helping her in raising her children and in helping them to be the best people they can be. She achieved so much more from getting her education than just a sheet of paper with a seal on it. [meandmy3]
I don't think it's a waste of education at all! I think it's best if you at least have a little experience that involves your degree but either way it doesn't matter. You know never when the worse can happen and you have to go to work. In today time have a degree can help you get a job in a dire time when you may need to go back to work. [LevysLuv]
Is learning ever a waste of time? Your educational experience stays with you until your mind ceases to function. Even if you aren't directly using the skills/knowledge learned in a specific program, you can always teach others, share experiences and pass along knowledge. Do you have to be gainfully employed to use your education? Is your degree a waste if you volunteer or work in an unrelated field? Many skills learned at all levels of education can be transferable to other areas. These skills improve our performance in all aspects of life. They help us contribute to our communities in a myriad of ways and make us better citizens, friends, family members, and parents. Do some aspects of our education go unused? Sure, but that can be the case for people who enter/remain in the workforce too. Does technology not change? Are new methods and better approaches to performing tasks not developed over time? Does new information or additional knowledge never appear? Sometimes it's the process and not the material covered that is the important test in education. Those who choose to denigrate housewives and stay at home moms have their agendas. Is it really worth your while to pay attention to someone who would attempt to get between you and what is best for your family for their own reasons? Are their arguments really that strong if they have to rely on pressure tactics and ridicule in order to get others to change? Running a household and raising children is one of the hardest jobs to do properly. The true shame is to make light of this work. Is not producing and raising healthy citizens who make quality additions to society the greatest contribution that one can make to their community? I commend you for the choice that you made and for the difficult work that you do. Despite the protestations, children need strong role models. structured boundaries and a healthy family unit. Who better to give this to them then their parents. You don't have to look far to see the adverse effects when children are denied these essential building blocks. [bayernfan]
You have a way of putting into words what I was trying to say. Thank you for your very good response and nice words [meandmy3]
College degrees can be seen as something that are just Certifications of a person's eligibility for a particular field of work. I think the only thing wasted in your education would be the tuition you paid for in the university. But you said you have had your time on a job. Education's primary purpose, I believe, is that of acquiring knowledge and skills. it must not just be seen as a means to having a better economic life. Your value for family life is very commendable. [youresolastweek]
Many ladies i know have really made a there education a complete waste . They have very high degrees and still they sit at home looking after children and household . Many are lazy and sit at home . I mean i dont understand then why do they waste there parents money and learn and score such high degrees when they dont have use with it in there further life . At least they can help and be a support to their husband after marriage . At least that money which they gain from work wont be a waste . I know many women who sit at home even if they have high degrees.Its really sad and waste of education and money. [starash007]
what about their commitment to their families, and if it is not necessary for them to work then why should they if they in fact want to be home with their children. I could see this stance if the family was hurting and suffering financialy, but if they are not and she stays home, why the harsh words. [meandmy3]
Let's see, if it is a waste or not. My mum has a certificate till Secondary school and for some reason she couldn't have read in higher secondary. She is quite intelligent and it was because of her that we didn't feel that we need extra teacher. Her education helped us a lot but that too until secondary school. When we went into Higher secondary, she couldn't help us because she had no idea of study pattern and we had to spend money on private tutions and all. So, here's the difference. Sometimes you don't see a single tea leaf in your cup of tea but the most important aspect of the tea is that tea leaf, isn't it? [sanuanu]
I believe that when you choose to be a stay-at-home parent it does not mean wasting what you have studies. A degree will always remain no matter where you are and what path you choose to be. Yes we all wanted to use our education but then I always believe that priorities changes from time to time. Change is the only permanent thing on earth. And so what we like before may now be different. I am a mother and my son is now seven months old. I finished a degree in Public Administration and Governance and I will not say that the education or degree is wasted. I still have a long way to go. I know that someday I will still be working on the field suited for the degree I earned. My husband is the only one working at the moment because I am still waiting for my interview schedule. I will be using then my degree once I get hired again. In some cases I know that most parents were not able to use their degree because they have chosen their family over their career. That is where I am now. But everything can wait. If I will not work again at least I have chosen my family over my personal career and that is what I consider more important on my list of priorities. I do not consider a degree not used in real job a waste. I can still tell my son in the future that I finishes my education and I was able to raise him well by choosing him over my career. And my career will always be there, whether it was used or not. My degree will remain with me no matter what and I should be proud telling my son that I did took up a course that I wanted when I was still a student. That is my opinion regarding degrees earned. So never ever consider them a waste. Education is investment. Maybe I will consider a degree a waste if the person who earned it does not have a purpose in life that he or she can be proud of. Or maybe when he or she is just wasting his time being a dependent to his or her parents, and not looking for a job then that is an education wasted in another way. [Yori88]
No education gets wasted. Moreover kids require the mothers presence. An educated mother can be of great help to the kids. Besides there is no hard and fast rule that an educated woman must work. It depends on their personal life. [daffodil1949]
Education is start from home. So, It's not about waste of education if a mother who have a high level of education. I think it's an advantage. You can raise the children well. The children is being taught by a very successful manager ( Imagine, if you were working in the big company, what position would you get??. That's what your children will have :) ) [sarijeruk]
Good Morning! I have a degree as well and stay at home with my little guy! I haven't had anyone really degrade me for 'wasting' my education. However, I've had people question when I will return to work - as if it's any of their business! I think that anyone who accusses a woman or a man for choosing to stay home to raise their children are 1.) JEALOUS 2.) small minded and 3.) judgemental. You made a very good point about daycare/neglect... that's a good one! I'm of the mind that everyone is different and what works for one may not work for another... I try not to judge and I try to keep an open mind. As long as people respect me and my life, I show respect for them and theirs. I think it's wonderful that women are choosing to stay a home to raise their children and I think it's a blessing that those who can - do. [Raven7317]
I think I work harder now than I have ever worked in my life. My work as a buyer was fun, exciting, I traveled all over the place, went to the theater and saw the best shows all in the name off work. [meandmy3]
Absolutely not!!!!! Oh I don't think this would settle well with me if someone told me that. I was just shy of getting my degree from school but dropped out when the cost of education was more than I could take on my own as well as paying for rents, utilities, food, the daily neccessities. Anyways, I became a stay at home mom last year when I lost my job to having a child. (I was not protected by the maternity leave for those who will say this) I don't regret this at all. Yes I went to school for quite sometime and could put my education to use but at the same time too I know that I am at home watching my daughter "grow up" is more than enough for me. Even then, when your children are all grown up and move out you still have that degree to fall back on if you chose to go back out in the work force. [TRWilliams02]
I believed that it's not. Even if they have full time as housewives, what they learned can be taught to their children and they would be a good teacher because they have enough education to impart. [eds282006]
I think part of it depends. On one hand...you are right...each family has to decide what is best for them. I am a stay at home mom. I have three years of college under my belt, but no degree. There is a huge part of me that would love to finish because that piece of paper is the part that matters. I don't think education is really a "waste", but it is expensive. My mother-in-law has a masters degree that she has never used. It was sad because 25 years later when she had to go and get a job it didn't do her any good. She works at the library as a librarian assistant...something she could do with a high school diploma. While I am all for education, they stress it to their daughters, but they want them to be stay at home moms. That seems a little weird to me...if you are raised to be a stay at home mom, then college seems more optional then if you weren't. So, it is an interesting topic all in all. 15 years is a good amount of time to have put in your field too...hard to say that your degree wasn't worth something! [aidenofthetower]
i totally agree with what you say. Each person has the rihgt to decide for themselves, and if it works for you then i do not see the problem [arvvaz89]
Education is NEVER a waste of time. EVER. Whether you use it or not. Besides, the more knowledge you have, the more you have to give to your children. People just like to tell other people their business when they should just butt out. [xParanoiax]
I don't think that any education will ever be wasted. It is good to have studied and it is good to be smart, it doesn't matter how you use it. Ignorance is one of the biggest crimes possible, in my opinion at least. [Tcboss]
Education is never wasted - it is always a gift and a wonderful thing to experience! I totally agree that each person and each family unit will have a different way of working out what works best for them and how they are going to raise their children. Personally I think that we are constantly receiving an education of sorts and if we have a formal education those qualifications are not going to disappear if we take time out from a career to raise children or for any other reason! xxxx [mummymo]
I have a Masters degree in Spanish and had even studied abroad on scholarship. Some of my professors have kind of hinted that my education was going to waste when I decided to be a SAHM. Like you, I worked and capitalized on my education for years before deciding to focus on raising my child, so in this sense alone, I don't believe that all those years of studies went to complete waste. Also, even if I wasn't doing freelance translation, I plan to homeschool anyway, so I can still continue what I was doing before I decided to be a SAHM (I was a schoolteacher). No matter what we do in life, having acquired education can never be a waste. It's a way of improving ourselves. [wahmivy]
Yes,i feel they waste their time and their parent money..pity on woman,still weak and no choice. [hanah87]