I have mixed feelings about this. We have no children so there is not the extra housework associated with getting kids' clothes ready for school, that kind of thing. However, even though there are only two of us I can never get on top of washing and drying clothes! Winter is definitely worse than summer for this!
One thing I do like is to make the tea, nothing mind-blowing, just enough food to keep my hubby going. I know for a fact he doesn't even use the oven (maybe the grill) whenever I'm at Mum's so it's a daily treat for him whenever I cook hehe lol. He is very good in the fact that he helps out with the washing-up afterwards and will even cook for us at weekends to give me a break, so our relationship is very good in that way.
I have now been unemployed for quite a long time so have become used to the routine of being a housewife. If it wasn't for the fact that my hubby doesn't earn an awful lot I wouldn't even bother looking for a job. As it stands I really do need a job because I have no money of my own (apart from some I received off relatives over Christmas) which was generous of them.
So, do you choose to be a housewife? Does your husband prefer you to stay at home whilst he works or - like me - do you have to try and find work to supplement his income?
[question posted by Janey1966]
responses and comments:
I love taking care of the house and being a house wife, but when times are hard I want to be able to help, my fiance makes plenty of money sometime and not as much other times so I would like to be able to help when he needs it. [Ambitiouslyleiah]
I worry when my husband has no overtime (as of now) because the pay isn't that great otherwise. He has to travel 15 miles each way in the car and petrol has just gone up, to make matters worse. Hopefully, I shall be luckier in 2010 in finding work. [Janey1966]
Well speaking from my current situation, i need to work, i do have a job, but i'm waiting on a call to go, so i've been about 4 weeks now with no income, while my boyfriend has a full time job, he have offered to give me money, but i say no, i'm a very independent person, i need to work to keep my sanity, i loving being with my boyfriend, but i'm not truly happy till i have my own money, and my responsibility, and so on. So i def would not be satisfied being a housewife, i would get depressed. [FallenGurl]
For me, the "housewife" thing is OK, but, like yourself I do need some cash, which is why I apply for jobs I know I can do. [Janey1966]
Hi Janey, If given the chance to still receive the same amount of earnings that i am having right now-- i will choose being a wife. I've been working for such a long time and less time (although quality time) was devoted for my family. i want to spend the remaining days of life being a domesticated wife. i want to be a full time mom and wife...hands on in everything they need. i want to make up for all the missed time that i was not with them due to work. i am a social worker by profession and more of my time is spent for work. my family understands my career but i know they've been wanting to be with me more time. [msfrancisco9369]
thanks. actually the youngest who is nine years old is in the Mainstream program and he is now in grade one. he too is making good and really coping in the regular school. my eldest needs lots of intervention particularly speech therapy. he's trying his best to communicate--he'd improved a lot. we are blessed with a great school and teachers for both of them. i am a special mom and we are special parents for being given this responsibility to take care of them. God chose us to be their parents and i am so thankful. it's tough but every time they kiss and hug me--that's the greatest consolation in life! [msfrancisco9369]
Yes of course,I am a plain house wife,since i got married.I enjoyed being a house wife.What i've done every day is to take care of my husband and children.Prepared foods for my family and to do my house hold chores.By the way,I can relax if i want to. i can work here in mylot during my vacant time.I can do all i want in the house.For me,being a house wife is not easy,but the important is you love your home,your family and most of all, you're happy of what you do.Good luck! [Hazelrose]
Thanks for your lovely comment, it is much appreciated. I can tell by your response that you definitely enjoy your life. Good for you, my friend! [Janey1966]
I have nixed feelings to. For me ny daughter is grown up and I lost ny job and I wat to work I just can;t seem to find anything at the moment. I love to cook sometimes. I hat cold cold weather! So I would prefer to work close to hame so I wouldn't be out in it for long. HEE HEE lol My husband is working two jobs now and I really want to help him, I just wish I could find something soon. I ran out of money just from looking for a job you know gas and all the interviews I am so tired of crap places I could puke. My husband does help out with cooking and cleaning too but I really don't want him to because I feel like he alraedy does enough!I am going to have to find sometning to supplement his income. [jahernandezrivas]
Thanks happy Good Luck to you too and hope you have a good day! [jahernandezrivas]
I like to stay in my house all day. So the house wife choice is best for me. I don't like to work in the cold weather either. I just enjoy being home all day. I just finished mopping the floor. Cleaning the kitchen and washing things in the bathroom. All of which I don't mind doing. [giftsandbagscom]
I do like staying in the house during the winter, I must admit. However, during the summertime it is difficult for me as we only have a yard at the back (with a few plants) and I can't sit out in it and relax like I could do at Mum's as she has a massive garden, the lucky thing! I suppose the answer is for me to find work during the summer! [Janey1966]
I would prefer working and have a stable career than staying home doing the household chores because I could say I easily get bored when I am at home. I prefer working outside than just making myself busy inside my house. [galileo2008]
My brother works outside for the Council. I can tell he hates it during the winter for obvious reasons...he looks freezing the poor lamb! I'm quite sure though, that he would much prefer to work than stay at home all day. [Janey1966]
lol i m a houseman, i m waiting on my ssn to come in from immigration. Right now i m grumpy that its taken so long because i would do anything to be able to work right now lol. [sbviper]
Hello! I would like to be a housewife if I would have my own house. I would like to sit at home and look after children or take them to school and come home afterwords to do some housework. I am a half-time student at the moment and work full time. I don't have kids and I live in a very small apartment...I wish I had a house...and I could stay at home, honestly speaking, I am not very social person, I prefer staying at home and doing something by myself rather than communicating too much with outer world. rolleyesGood luck!!! [missweety]
I have become more isolated since staying at home. Some weeks I hardly see anybody unless I have to go shopping. At least I know I will see my husband from tea-time onwards, otherwise I would probably go mad in this house on my own, all day every day. During the day, though, I can put up with it as there is always something to do. I also long for a garden but we are stuck here because it's all we can afford and we don't want to get into serious debt by moving house. [Janey1966]
Hi janey Im just at home all day, took care of my three year old son, doing cleaning stuff. actually, I myself want to work, but my husband prefer me to be at home. But i am enjoying being with my son all day. No, for us there's no such thing.. " your money is yours, mine is mine " his money is yours as well., besides his the one who doesn't allow you to work., if that's the case.. I rather work than to spend all day long with nothing.Good luck. [myramae19]
Oh im sorry if I misunderstood you. well, things should be that way. you don't have your kids... so I think its good for you to work, it's a big help for your husband if you work too, earned for the needs,and you can save the rest of your both income.happy mylotting. [myramae19]
Your hubby is awesome! I'd love to marry a husband who doesn't mind to help his wife with housework. I'm not married yet, but I think us women should go to work instead of stay at home and being a housewife. Why? First reason is because you can have more freedome to make independant financial choises. What if your husband have an affair and leave you [with the kids], and you don't even have a job to live by yourself. Second, more money is always better. You guys can save for your kids, and if one of you loses the job then other person can keep the family moving. I always think that, when you have a job, you get to meet more people, more confident, and is more valued by friends and relative. [Nymphantom]
Thank you for your kind comment about my hubby. He is rather cute, I must say, which is why I would like a job to ease the pressure on his finances. You are right; having my own cash would make it easier for me to buy things for the house. My husband is quite happy not buying anything whereas I WANT to buy things as I want to exploit the potential of the place. Having lots of time on my hands enables me to do research on decorating and the like, so it's all in my head what I want to do; it's just finding a job in order to finance it all! You are also right in the fact that work does enable us to mix with different people. I do miss that part of being out of work. I am frightened of my self-esteem being low but I do remain extremely positive as being negative would probably lead to depression...which is very bad for obvious reasons. [Janey1966]
He does to stipulate whether i stay at home or work. I don't like either, frankly i am still clutching on to my teenage carefree years. I have to take myself back at times. I am doing good so far where it concerns. I am a working mom and i can't say i am good at it but I really is adopting to the change. The problem that we normally have is that there is never enough time to do anything. So its not a world that i would freely welcome. Don't get me wrong i love being a mom and i sort of like my job but it is hard to strike a balance. [catilda]
I really admire what you do and I am sure you are better at it than you think. I'd be absolutely useless, I'm sure of that. Good luck to you. :-) [Janey1966]
until 5 years ago i'd always worked and took care of the house and kids,if i wasn't ill i'd still be doing that,but i am,so i have to make do with being a housewife,which sometimes is incredibly boring [doormouse]
I agree with you, it can be incredibly boring like you say. It does keep me occupied though, otherwise I'd be on MyLot all the time lol. [Janey1966]
I was working before from the age of 17 years till the age of 55 years. It was hectic to look after the kids, kitchen and office. I use to crave for leaving the job as I did not have any rest or relaxation those days. I took voluntary retirement and I am at home since 6 years. Now I miss those days. I feel I am not productive and wasting time. Though I cook good stuff always and my husband and daughter enjoy (two children are married) and my husband also helps me in cooking, my mind always craves for going to office since I am used to it. [Buchi_bulla]
I used to work in offices too. That's what I have done practically all my working life. I think the reason that I am not bothered about finding that kind of job here in Carlisle is due to the horrible women I've worked with. They gave me a hard time for not being a Carlisle (born and bred) person. They resented me from the start. If I could find a Highways job where there are loads of men in the office (well, mostly out on site) like I did in Blackpool in the 90s I shall be very happy. Trouble is, Council jobs are thin on the ground in this part of the world. [Janey1966]
I figure you have to find joy in whatever you are doing. Currently I am a housewife that takes care of 2 kids and personally it is a ton more challenging than working full-time since there is no vacation, sick or personal days. [leafy27]
You are quite right, it is much harder looking after children. It can be challenging just looking after myself, my hubby and the cat. I don't know how I'd cope if I added children to the mix, so to speak. Good luck to you. [Janey1966]
Hi Janey,I am a house wife now just for two years I worked as Medical transcriptionist. Before that even after my marriage i went on studying. As i got back pain so I stopped working as MT. I have two kids. I feel that it is better to work so that little or little what i earn will be useful for some or the other thing. It is like my husband is earning like what we are getting is sufficient to eat, school fees, some policies to pay and that's it. It is like exactly correct...so sometimes i feel that better to work not full time as I should take care of my family I am interested to work for part time. Today the main reason me to be online is to earn money online. If u know any other ways of earning money online please do suggest. I will be thankful to you. The PTC sites are waste of time I feel. [rorisricha]
MyLot is the only site of its type I have come across that pays, although that is an added bonus in my case as I would probably ramble on for nothing lol. I agree with you, the PTC sites are indeed a waste of time. You say you have been a medical transcriptionist in the past? If that's the case there are many online companies who need people with such skills but I will probably get into trouble if I advertise them here. They are fully searchable on Google though. Just type in Medical Transcriptionists in the search bar and you may be pleasantly surprised. Good luck. [Janey1966]
hi janey,i prefer both well being a housewife is too boring..i have a 2 kids and both of them goes to school and if ever im alone at home i fell so bored as if i wasted my time s now i have a partime job..thats makes feel good [marketing07]
You are lucky in that you can combine the two. I don't really mind being at home alone as the cat keeps me company and now I am about to take the christmas Tree down, not very exciting I know but needs must as they say. [Janey1966]
Hi, Well i would to work, so that i can give better comforts for my son & i can also lead comfortable life. Ofcourse, if my hubby's earnings was good i would hv become housewife. [rvk_5454]
We do have children, so I made the decision to be a stay-at-home/housewife because of the children. However, if we didn't have children I would much rather be a working woman. Before I was a mother I really enjoyed my career, but now that I am a mother I enjoy fully embracing that. I think if I was simply a housewife I would personally be bored out of my mind. As a matter of fact, I think that when my son starts school, I am going to at least get a part time job. [dorannmwin]
Good luck with your job search. I will wait until the end of this week before looking again as the jobs market won't pick up until then. Hopefully, I shall strike lucky, unlike last year, which was a bit of a disaster for finding work (or not as in my case) lol. [Janey1966]
i like being both ., to be a housewife and to be a working mom at the same time. i want to earn on my own. i don't want to ask money to my husband. its not in my personality to ask something on someone. thanks for this nice topic. have a nice day ahead! :D [myliezl0903]
Thank you for your kind words. It's so sweet that you don't like asking your husband for money. I don't either if truth be told. I don't have many outgoings but I can feel myself squirming in my seat when I ask him for money. It's a horrible feeling and I won't have to do that once I find work! [Janey1966]
Hi janey: I am a housewife without being a wife, meaning I'm single. Living alone gives me a lot of freedom and there are times I can be without doing some of the day to day chores one is expected to do without someone nagging me about it. I'm also not one who loves to do housework; but I do it because it has to be done. I am definitely not one of those really energetic housewives who loves to put on music and dance with the broom! However, I go for work daily and I like that although commuting can be a nightmare. the money does help me get a little help and I much prefer it that way. [suesan35]
You sound like a very independent lady and I admire you for that. I am lucky in that my husband never, EVER nags me over the housework. I just seem to do it when it needs to be done and keep on top of it so it never looks like a dump in here. I like your comment about doing the housework and dancing to music at the same time. That's far too energetic isn't it? Much better to go at a steady pace without killing ourselves in the process lol. :-0 [Janey1966]
I would like to be a good housewife because I can mould my children the way I want, I can guide them the correct way and even fulfill their reqiurement of love which a mother should give to her children, under worse conditions I would work also.. [ewinner]
Thanks for your lovely comment. Giving time to your children seems like the way to go, as far as you are concerned and good luck with it. [Janey1966]
I chose not to go out to work right from the day I got married, for one simple reason that I lack the stamina to manage running out on a daily schedule and coping with housework too.In India we rely a lot on freshly prepared food and somehow major housework is done by the female[it is taken for granted] even if she goes out to work.I was born in an affluent family and was not career oriented despite being a post graduate.However, I have only one son, and had a bit of spare time and motivation to do something. At one stage in life I took up some independent productive activity on my own and liked it.This branched out in a big way and I am quite happy about it.I also feel that it is better to have some financial independence [some pocket money which we can spend without worrying too much];moreover I also feel that women need some productive activity of their own [first priority would go to children and house] to occupy their spare time and this would not only give them some extra money but would also give them immense self satisfaction [kalav56]
If Interior design is going to be your passion you can save up the money you earn from your job [after getting something or the other]to get skill in this.[I do not know if the training course here are also very expensive, but life is long and you will I am sure, pursue your dream one day.After getting yourself equipped, perhaps you can try your skill out on some known circles and friends with your expert ideas and practice on your own.Imparting knowledge and skill is a very satisfying thing to do; it improves our own selves and we are also useful to people. Good luck to you too and happy new year! [kalav56]
i dont like to become a housewife,at the same time my husband could not earn much money and make the living for us.so i like to find a job and earn much money to pay my expense.actually men's income is limited,they hope that women have responsibility for a part of family' expending,so i hope that our life could be happy and willing to find work and supple his income. [bingchen]
My husband prefers that I stay home. It's for the children. If I were like you, without child, I would rather be out working. The time will be taken and you won't have time to feel bored, except maybe tired and frustrated if the job is not of your interest. The main reason would be having money of your own. You won't have to scrimp or forgo things that you like, besides being able to assist your love. You also get to dress up and maintain being attractive if you get a job that lets/requires you to ( housewife too can dress provided your hubby has the finance, which mostly is difficult cos there's only one earner in the household and many spenders ). But of course being a housewife is somewhat free and easy. You are the so-called "boss". To be honest, without children, being a housewife seems more tempting than working cos you have all the time to do as you like ( except no money ) but when there are children, you don't get the time to do as you like and feel even poorer as a housewife. So, when you still can, do earn more and save up for the time when you need to stay home for the children. The savings will come handy( remember to keep some savings as a secret back route that only you know, not even your hubby ). Nobody can say what's in-stored in the future so having a trump card is always beneficial. [ongtina]
Thank you for your comment, it's much appreciated. Both my husband and I were extremely independent before we met each other. He had his own house (this one) and I lived with my parents. I did live with another guy a few years ago but I won't mention him! We have retained this independence to a certain extent, even after we got married in 2008. For example, we don't have a joint bank account. His parents do and the mother-in-law creates tension sometimes as she goes out spending money when her husband is at work. Bit sneaky that if you ask me. Having independence with money seems the best way (in our case at least) and my husband knows what I want doing to the house because I have mentioned it many times. We both know he cannot afford improvements with his salary so I have no choice but to finance it myself once I find a job. [Janey1966]
I have been in the work force. I have also been a stay at home mom. Both jobs are great. If I ha the choice, I would prefer to stay home. I seemed to get a lot more accomplished wwhedn I was with my family. [sender621]
Good for you my friend! [Janey1966]
oh well!I can not say my hubby earn awful lot but i am thankful He earn enough doing his job .I am already an year unemployed and know what it means to stay at home at to do housework all day!!!I even can not think to try to find work so difficult is this and I think for the moment impossible.First I have to wait my trial to pass and then may be I wilhave luck to start my private business.Who knows... [daniperen]
I like to work from home. Earning is not just for living it gives freedom. [meluan]
You are so lucky that you can do this, well done my friend! [Janey1966]
i would prefer being a housewife if there were sufficient funds. i am a stay at home mother but i work babysitting, do the bookkeeping for my husband's business and do online work to supplement our income and it still is not enough. i hate working outside the home but i am going to have to go back to that at some point when my son is older. right now he needs me to be here so this is why i do what i do. [mikeysmom]
Could you do bookkeeping for someone else besides your husband, perhaps? I don't know if this can be done online but it maybe something to consider, as you obviously would prefer to stay at home, if possible. Good luck. [Janey1966]
The days when women can be"housewives" are really over. Do you know that the poorest people in the Western World living in poverty are Elderly women, and we are all going to be elderly some day. These days every person, man or woman must have the skills and ability to provide for themselves if need be and provide for their old age. The problem is when people have been unemployed for a while it is difficult to get back into the work force. However, there are ways to achieve this. For instance there are courses to upgrade skills, learn new skills or change career paths. There are other ways to gain experience. By volunteering in a soup kitchen, get experience in culinary practices. By volunteering in a hospital gift shop get experience in customer service, retail and operating computerized cash registers. This is an excellent way to gain self confidence since there is is not that horrible pressure to learn fast in a paid job. By volunteering at a food bank one can gain experience in shipping and receiveing goods, serving customers or learning to do data entry into a computer. By volunteering in a public art gallery or a local museum one can gain experience in leading groups, speaking to groups and helping to manage crowds. By volunterring at a library one can gain computer experience and customer service experience. There are many more places that I have not mentioned. You can build an impressive resumê before you start to apply for paid jobs and you can feel really good about yourself. Remember also, work expands according to the time available. So if you were out of the house 2, 3, 4 or 5 days a week the work would still get done. I grant you maybe the sheets would not be pressed but who cares they are rumpled in 2 minutes flat anyway. If you earned some cash you could also buy a dishwasher, a steam cleaner, a rice cooker, a vegetable steamer, a sandwich maker, a breadmaker, an electric food processor large or small, a blender, a clothes dryer or any other appliance that your heart desired. You would also be able to function as a full adult and not as a dependant. From my own experience I am telling you if I had not worked all my life I would not have been able to send both my kids to university and keep my own home after my husband passed away. Now I am retired and get a pension. I am not rich but I can pay my own bills, afford the internet and at least one nice trip a year. So, my dear girl work on your future, work on being able to stand on your own two feet. The saddest thing in my extended family is that one of my cousins in his early forties will not "allow" his wife to work outside the home. She is in her thirties, they have no children, but he is a control freak. She has no money of her own so this way he can lord over her. When she is 65 she will have no pension of her own, at least not one that she can live on, he may be ill or disabled or gone and there is a possibility that she will join the ranks of poverty stricken old ladies. So sad, but right now she does not have the nerve to stand up to him. [Lindalinda]
You are so right, it is not rewarding to watch someone earn the money while one is not paid at all. It would irk me as well. The reason why I listed all the volunteer opportunities was because in your post you mentioned that you have not worked for quite some time. Then it becomes difficult to get back into the work force. Usually technology has advanced skills are outdated or no existing and a persone has become a little older. For instance volunteering at a hospital gift shop would help a person to learn how to operate a computerized cash register, a skill needed if one would seek a job in retail. Employers are usually not interested in training a person for any lenght of time. Same goes for volunteering at an agency where one has a chance to enter data in a data base. If one seeks a job of that nature uptodate skills are absolutely necessary. No one would hire a person who had done data entry 10 years ago and then stopped doing it. Everything is different now. I work a couple of shifts at a food bank every month as a volunteer. I noticed there are quite a few people in their forties who are on welfare because they lost their jobs quite a while ago. These people want to get off the public purse and stand on their own feet once again. Some do data entry to polish up their skills, some of the guys learn how to operate fork lifts so they can apply for jobs in warehouses, some people learn how to cook for cafeterias in the hope that with this experience they may be able to find paid employment.(The volunteers get to eat the product of their efforts, sometimes it is excellent, sometimes soso) There are of course paid employees who manage the food bank. Above all you need to think about your future and as pesky as it sounds you need to make plans for your retirement. Good luck to you. I think you should take stock of your talents, abilities, training and skills and a job you would like to have, then plan a course of action to get back into the workforce. Another alternative is to become an internet entrepreneur, although I really don't know how one can make a good living from that. Some of my Mylot friends say they do. I have made a little bit of money but it would not support me. [Lindalinda]
I don't work an outside job anymore.. I am on social security disability.. I do work online with several sites to have multiple streams of income.. mylot being one of them. I stay home now.. but when I was younger I worked all the time.. I didn't have the luxury to stay home.. and truthfully, if I did.. I'd probably lose track of what day or month it was..lol [OreoCookie3]
I'm pleased you can make money online and good luck with it during 2010 and beyond. I am feeling rather unwell at the moment. I have made an appointment with the doctor as I am 99.9% certain I have an under-active thyroid, but only a blood test will determine this. Already ruled out a hormonal imbalance! I feel so tired and washed out! Even if I had a job I don't think I'd last very long, unless it was part-time, and people I have known that did work part-time seem to have to do the same amount of work in less time!! :-( [Janey1966]
I personally can't understand how people can do it. I get bored being at home all day and for days at a time. Sure, I can do all the work around the house that I want to do. But I get bored. You can only do so much on a house until it gets tiring. I prefer to work. It may not be for everyone but even something part time outside of the house is a lot better than scrubbing an already clean home. [highflyingxangel]