When we were still younger, we always imagined ourselves wearing power clothes and on top of our professional career. Then, we got married and have kids. No matter how qualified we are to be a career women, responsibilities to personally take care of our kids are still very much our business. Can you give up your career and become a fulltime housewife or would rather pursue that career and leave your kids on the hands of others? Husbands/men may speak up what do they think about this. Thanks in advance.:-)
[question posted by eurekafemme]
responses and comments:
Hi eureka! I feel that a working woman will not prefer to give up her career and would become full time house manager. I think working women value their careers and job profiles and they feel happy to be self dependent. Until and unless any major problem arise or any untoward incident takes place, no working woman would like to quit her job. Working women are very active and agile and they not only handle their office affairs but looks after their homes very well. I salute them. [dpk262006]
I would rather be half-half if I would be a mother in the future. I think I'm going to be bored if I will just be a fulltime housewife. I think it just need some balancing. Yet I don't think I would aspire for a top professional role because I am only willing to give half. [JDy116]
At least, you know what you want.:-) Thanks, JDy.:-) [eurekafemme]
Actually... I would love to become a housewife someday. I don't have anything against what other women do. But my mother is a very good housewife/housemother, so I just want to be like her :) [invisiblelady]
You'll be fine. You will learn how to deal with every responsibilities when you get there.:-) [eurekafemme]
I don't think there is anything to suggest that women should adopt roles as housewives. I like to think that we live in the 21st century, after all... What would happen, for instance, if a gay couple had a child? If it were two men, would the child be left on its own? If it were two women, would the child be smothered whilst Rome (in a metaphorical sense, employment income) burned? I think couples should decide for themselves. happy [MJay101]
Thank you, MJay.:-) It is true that couples should decide,but, it is only possible when both couples are being reasonable not just because the husband doesn't want to help the wife raise his kids properly, thus, leaving all the responsibilities (kids and houseworks) to his wife. And, it is hard for the woman to say no when he sees the her daughter is the one who is suffering... What do you? :) [eurekafemme]
Hi, eureka. Yes, I can give up my career to be at home full-time with my kids. My career is at home being online. When my kids get older, like say around the ages of 12, I will go out and get me a job then. I want to be able to spend as much time with them as they are younger. When I was younger, I had no idea that I would be right where I am at as of today. I thought that I would be working in an office or something. [cream97]
Good for you, Cream.:-) Sometimes choosing to be a full time Mum isn't that tough. But that depends how supportive your husband is. I believe you are lucky to have a husband truly supportive of what you want.:-) [eurekafemme]
I also imagined my self as some big business woman wearing power suits and stuff, but once I had kids I felt it was my responsibility to raise them. I did not want someone else raising my kids. I did continue to work for almost a year after I had my first child my mom my mother in law and my sister's fiancees mom watched my daughter for me. Then I got pregnant with my second child. Then it was just not worth it for me to work anymore, I wanted to be home with my kids, so I started watching other people's kids a few days a week. But now I still stay home with my kids, but I have an online business, so I have a carreer of sorts but I still get to be a stay at home mom, so I have the best of both worlds. [ladym33]
I'm happy for you, Ladym:-) As long as you are happy with the life you chose,and nobody forced you to do it, for sure, there is no room for regrets in your life.:-) [eurekafemme]
i think this is a problem which is difficult to be answered.As far as i'm concerned,career as important as the family life.But as you said,when we have the baby or a family,woman woulb care more about the family.Maybe,woman should keep the balance between the career and the family life. [carenxinxin]
I agree with you, Carenxinxin.:-) A career woman could still be an effective wife and mum even if being successful in her own field. As a matter of fact, when a RESPONSIBLE woman find satisfaction and self worth by having to keep a career, she is happier and thus,being more effective both as wife and mum.:-) Thank you.:-) [eurekafemme]
There are a few options that can be tried so that the woman does not have to give up her career. Daycare is the main one that comes to mind. Another is to have the husband take a big role in the raising of the kids. It seems to be automatically assumed that when the kids come, the wife is the main care giver. That doesn't have to be the case. Having kids means doing more work, and that work load should be shared between the husband and the wife. Trade off on who looks after the kids. You can even do a combination of the three things...husband looks after kids...wife looks after kids...and free up some time for both by having part time daycare. [josga2008]
Thank you, Josga.:-) What a very sensible way to put this situation into a not so complicated thing.:-)The only thing is how willing the husband is to take his big role? If he's not willing to play his part, then, it is not going to work...:-) [eurekafemme]
This is a question that has plagued many women throughout they're careers as well as during they're university days. In my opinion in an ideal relationship, middle ground must be sought. Where when you have kids, the woman should ideally have some time of work and look after the kids and enjoy her time with her children when they are young. During this time the husband should support the family. Then when the kids are getting a but older perhaps 3-4 years old, the mother should try to get back into the workplace, and to assist her in this transition the husband should try to take time of work and then look after the kids. This mix will only last a few years until the children start school. Therefore, the individual sacrifice is well worth it. And both partners are able to cherish the young years in which character is built. [yourlankanfriend]
Hello, Yourlankanfriend. That is a very sensible advise.Thank you.:-) Though it may sound unfair to women to give their careers a halt because of the kids but it is the wisest thing to do. Mothers can look after their kids better than fathers do.:-) Maybe for that EQ and IQ sakes of the kids, the mothers have to do that one worthy sacrifice first. And, yes, go back to work once the kids are all able to "look after themselves" already.:-) Very well said.:-) [eurekafemme]
Although I am a university student right now,I have some thoughts about this.I think I'm unable to be a fulltime housewife.I would like to have my own career and that is what I can't quiz.Women also need their own career,too.I think I can both work and take care of my kids.As far as I am concerned,the best wife is the woman who has a successful career and a harmonious family. [Fishy0109]
The best wife is the one who is happy with herself and what she does other than being a wife and a mother. If you can't live without a career then, you must have one or else you will hate yourself for not getting one but rather stuck in being just a homemaker. Thanks for your honest opinion, Fishy.:-) [eurekafemme]
It is difficult for a career woman to have a succeful career and a happy family in both. For those who obatain both of the two goals, they are quite great. And I know they pay the very hard effort to reach that. I admire them. [zhangfzoe]
There's an old adage that says " We can't have both worlds", which I say is true. You have to give way to the other to be able to do what is necessary and ask of you in the present with efficiency. And trying to having both worlds is almost next to impossible. Unless, you are a superhuman.:-) [eurekafemme]
Hi! I'm not gonna have kids, so it's very difficult to imagine me as a full time housewife. I prefer to take the control in my life, so too many responsibilities can get in the way. It depends on the person too, some people feel more complete having a house and kids and dedicating all their time to them. For me, I prefer enjoying outside home. [madteaparty]
Hi, Madteaparty. Thank you for your honest thoughts.:-) Yup, there are people who prefer not to have bigger responsibilities like having kids and family. If you think and truly believe you can't cope up with the challenges of having a family of your own, then, why try risking having one? It is a choice, you said.;-) [eurekafemme]
Absolutely not. I would not give up my career just to sit at home and work all day to please some unthankful guy that comes home only to complain. Oh my dinner isn't ready, oh the house isn't clean, oh you didn't do this. Well if you want it done, then I guess you can do it yourself. It's not hard. If you really need it, you can lift a finger and do it. I think it would be quite selfish of a partner to force their partner to do that as well. I know for some it's a mutual decision but I think too many women are forced into staying at home because they feel like it's necessary. [highflyingxangel]
What you said is quite a sad reality to many women who are still trying to play the role of a devoted and martyr wife.... And I can tell that such women will not and never will feel respected at all. Wife, Mother but not housekeeper or maids or nanny of our own husbands and kids... Bulls eye there, Highflyingxangel.;-) [eurekafemme]
I think I'd prefer being a career woman because not only I would have my self-esteem conditioned but I won't only wait for my husband to give money but i could buy myself some stuff and also I could give something to my children. It's just a matter of balancing your time between family and career. But in my opinion, it would be more stable if both of you and your husband is working. [carla_roa]
That is so true, Carla.:-) Even if we expect our husbands to take care of us but we still need to preserve our self esteem and be able to be self dependent even if dear husband can provide for our needs. I believe, husband will be more happy thinking that his wife is self sufficient.:-) [eurekafemme]
Hi eureka! Even I used to imagine myself wearing power clothes and on top of our professional career as a child.I used to play the "Office" game lol.It was fun.But now everybody around me keeps reminding me that I am single and that its time I should settle down now that I have a career.But I have only one thing on my mind and that is if I get married then I would like to be a full-time homemaker.I would like to excel as a homemaker only.I do not want to juggle both career & home maker.I would like to make "Home-maker" as my career.happy.In order to give full attention and care to my family which matters the most to me. [chosen9]
Your would be kids will be happy and proud to have you as their parent. When you reached that stage, I hope you are self sufficient so as not to force your husband to make both ends meet alone with difficulties. Lucky your would be family to have you,Chosen.:-) [eurekafemme]
I have given up my career for full time motherhood. We had a premature baby that cannot go to daycare. It was not hard at all for me to decide to do this. The hardest part is the sacrifice of money. ( Or lack of ) Seriously though with daycare, I would have been working for barely nothing for someone else to raise our children. I am much happier staying home and taking care of them. I would not change it for the world. I am trying to find online things to do here and there to make money. Soon enough, I will wish I had this time back, so I will take this precious time and love every minute! :) [gina2008]
That means a lot. Thank you very much!!! :) Have a great day. [gina2008]
I will choose my career.I will still choose to be a working single woman.being a working single woman with a stable job is empowering.it helps that you have a nice,stable job you can rely to financially.it feels good to be working and earning your own keep. [my_name_is_coco]
Hello, My_name_is_coco.:-) Thank you for responding and my apology to acknowledge to your comment this late.:-( You must still be single, if my guess is right, that's why it is so easy for you to say that. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. For the meantime, all your aspirations and Goals in life like having a great job and earning your own keep seems satisfying and liberating.For most single women, a career is something that they can't give up because it is the only thing that exist for the meantime. But, when you have a family of your own and needs your full attention, (child is sickly,or any domestic problems) you sometimes has to choose which is more important to you. And, I believe that you are the kind of a person who wouldn't neglect family for the sake of self gratification.:-) However, these are just my opinions, I may be talking nonsense for you.:-) Thank you for sharing your thoughts.:-) [eurekafemme]
I am still in school and I think it will be really hard for me to have to give up my career for my family, it might cause resentment on my part but what I want to be able to do is balance my time very well so that I'll give my family the necessary attention needed whiles I work at the same time. It will not be easy but I plan to do that. [priscy25]
Hi, Priscy.Thank you so much for sharing your views. :-) I can fairly understand where you were coming. It is not easy to study four or five years in college only to be confined in doing the household chores and babysitting. I, myself would have resented if I will only think of that way. I tried to manage my time juggling work and family but it didn't work out for me because my daughter was just so sickly and whenever I left her she'd end up ill for a couple or days and be hospitalized. I realized that working and earning my own keep isn't worth it at all... So I made a choice to give up a career and be a full time MUm. It isn't easy, yes, but it saved my baby's health... I had no regrets:-) [eurekafemme]
When I got married, my husband and I thought if I worked three years before we had a baby, I would get to be a stay at home mom. Thirty years later, I finally stopped working outside the home. My son was married, buy my daughter, who was born with Down's syndrome still lived with us and does to this day. Given a choice, I really would have preferred staying at home with my babies, but like so many newly weds, we stupidly got ourselves into serious debt that required both salaries to work through it. By that time, I was in management and working at a center for physically and mentally disabled adults, which I enjoyed immensely. I think I missed a lot with my children. The babysitter told me about my child's first words. His uncle got him to take his first steps and with my daughter, she idolized her brother and did all her firsts for him. With the birth of my daughter, at least we could finally bring someone in to live with us, so she grew up without being farmed out to other homes. It made life happier all the way around. [mysticmaggie]
I'm a guy but I give my opinion through this. For me I a women a full time housewife. Because wife is the sole responsibility to take care of the kid. The better thing is this was to avoid also some incident that encounter of some couples outside the house that they commit something adulterous acts. But if the wife is stay at home it is lesser to happen like that... [aerous]
I did just that. I went from a working/career in healthcare woman to being a stay at home mom and now my husband is a stay at home dad. Help me!! I can't stand being home with all the critters. LOL. I like staying home, but prefer to be with others too. [marysia66]
My kids are number one in my life. So everything else has to wait. I work out my own home to make income so I am with my kids all the time. And my kids have my attention anytime they want it. My husband works outside the home. So it works out for the both of us. [strawberrybaby39]
Thats a really very tough decision to make if u ask me. Being a creer women is not an easy job as well. But it is really difficult to find someone to take care of the kids as well. When I look at myself I have to think twice, as when I look at my sisters they always leave their kids with us and we took care of them but now my mother is getting old so I dont think she will be able to donate that much time for me or my kids. But would I able to take my kids home? Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Have to think really hard... [eddify]
I am half and half currently. After 10 years of us being together, we have our first child on the way. All of this time, I have worked PT, mainly to be with my partner, and have kept up the house cleaning and such. [UtopianIdealist]
It seems to be a difficult situation but you just have to choose which suits best. If there is someone you can rely like your mother perhaps, then you can ask her to take care of the child while you are pursuing your career. But if your motherly duties won over your career opportunities then the wiser decision is to be a mother first and a worker second. After all you want to earn a living for your family but what if something happens to your child, then everything else will be of no use and you will just end up blaming yourself for not staying at home. Fortunately there are a lot of opportunities online and moms can now stay-at-home with the kids while at the same time earning a profitable income, I for one is an example. [anne09]
With a lot of opportunities online that are available for stay-at-home moms, women don't have to choose between these two eureka. Besides why choose when you can have both? [anne09]
First I have to say that I am not a mother. When I was younger, although I played house, I always envisioned myself in a "power suit." I always saw myself as a professional career woman. I could not see myself as a housewife, although my mother was for many years and I have the utmost respect for the women who choose to do this. Being a "housewife" IS a career and deserves respect. Most people do not see it as such because it doesn't "pay." I guess that I never really envisioned having kids or a husband. I am 28 years old and I still don't know if I want either. I think it is a personal choice and neither one should be critisized because both are important. [Picquarian]
wives can still go with her career. if the family needs her to help in the budgetting, then she can still work. kids can always have baby sitters. husband on the other hand have the option to let her work, if he thinks he cannot accomodate all the needs of the family. basically, it's the financial side that we have to look at or consider. if husband can give all the needs and more, of the family, then why let wife work. and if only my wife will love to work, i will also let her to be a career woman, again... [neildc]