Are you a mother/wife or soon to be mother/wife? It has always been an argument between married people as to whether who will stay at home and do all the house work, or get a job and provide for the family. Would you rather be a housewife or a breadwinner?
For me, I want to be both. I don't want to only be a house wife who will do all the housework because I also have my own dreams to pursue. I can be a part-time house wife. I always want to do something, but not just inside the house. How about you?
[question posted by gegegelay]
responses and comments:
I am both. I work the midnight shift 12am-8am as a 911 dispatcher, then I go home, walk the dog, etc. and take care of my kids after school. My husband works 12 hr shifts 3 days on , 2 days off rotating from 7am-7pm. When he is off, he takes care of the kids, dinner, etc. otherwise I do. We both share in the housework. I thinks it makes for a much better/more respectful relationship when both parties can understand what the other is going through. [misheleen73]
It sounds ideal because both of you have make arrangement on sharing the house chores and taking care the kids. However, do u have enough quality time spend together with each other? Just you and your husband? I think it is important to have some time spend just for both of you. [serena_wai]
Well before I had my daughter I always thought I would want to continue working. I never saw myself as one that could just stay at home all day. But once I had my daughter and realized how much work it is and how attached I was to her I wanted to stay home. I actually did go back to work for a month after I had my daughter because money got a little tight. I absolutely hated working. I felt so guilty everytime I would leave her. Now when she gets older and is in school I would probably go back to work or at least do something. One thing I've always wanted to do is genealogy for people. I don't have the time to do that now since the libraries are only open during the day and I can't exactly take my daughter to do research with me. So I think that's something I may pursue while she's in school. [cynddvs]
My opinion is whether you work inside your house or not you are a wife first if you work outside and earn for your family then it is your current occupation or profession outside house. A housewife is the queen of a house and one of ownder of that house. A man who marry a girl and allow his wife to work outside house is giving freedom to his wife and also for financial strength of both though housewife has to do many work in house and after a child is born many work for child so you cannot escape from title of housewife. [palina77]
the child you are going to bear has not requested you to be born in your womb. it is your wish and responsibility! you should give as much time as possible to the child till the chld is independent. at least upto kg level you should be around 24/7. [anya11111]
Yup, that's true ;) [gegegelay]
When I had my first child I was very work oriented. My husband and I had nothing and we really need the income. I finished my masters degree and started teaching. I felt that we were a very well rounded family. My husband worked and I worked while my son went to a home daycare. By the time my son was 2, I had gone threw 5 day care providers. I couldn't seem to find one that my son would go to without crying daily! Then one night at dinner, my son said the F word. My husband and I almost died!! We asked where he had heard that word, and he said from the sitter. Well, I quit teaching and decided to stay home and raise my own kids (I was pregnant at the time). I found such joy in staying home, having a clean house , having dinners that weren't just thrown together, but we still needed the income. I decided to open my own in home day care. I knew what was out there and new that I would be much more attentitive to the kids. I have been doing this now for 15 years. I have those time where I have to get out of the house, so I will go shopping or out to dinner with a girlfriend. Now I think we have a much better family atmosphere. [sunshine4]
Thanks for your words of praise. Also, thanks for marking me best response. [sunshine4]
I disagree that it is always an argument between married people. My husband and I talked about it before we were married, and we agreed that he would be the breadwinner and I would be the homemaker. He has even said that he would rather work two jobs himself than see me have to give up the joy I get from being a stay at home mother, taking care of home and family. [TeresaK]
"I believe we are strong and capable of also providing for our family." I couldn't agree more. For me, providing for my family entails providing a loving home, and being the primary caregiver. For someone else, it means something else. :) [TeresaK]
I love being a house wife. The only thing I have against it is not having a lot of money to go shopping [I am a complete shopoholic]. So I would love it if I could earn money and still be a house wife, heh. [lovethatburns]
i think it depends on different people and different family situations. some prefer to stay at home to take good care of the family and enjoy the freedom while others want to go out to persue their dreams. and some families need the income from the wife, so the wife has to go out to work no matter whether she likes it or not. [lucy67]
I really can't stand staying at home. If I could have a family I prefer both me and my husband is working whether He's in the morning and I'm in the afternoon or maybe vice versa. So somehow there is still someone who will take care in our children. And also since our life today is very hard if one in your family works. It is not sufficient in the daily needs. [rzr247]
Iam exactly like you girl..!! I want to be a bread winnera and a big erner of my family for ever, but some where in corner I do want to play the part of a house wife too.I'll hadle it when it comes. But mostly a bread winner and also I don't want to leave my children in the hands of a starnger too, I'll be needing a joint job on this with my partner too.After all HE to holds some reponsibility too!! isn't it? So when people take up jobs together its more easier to do it and with an enthusiasm too!! Can say a combine study with friends verses studying alone..you can relate that with this. So On top of this I want to be an earner but without neglecting my home. have a nice day. [stella1989]
That's true, both have responsibilities and no one between the husband and wife is better or higher than the other ;) [gegegelay]
i really don't think that should be an issue because skills and responsibilities don't actually choose gender and should not be gender biased. guys can cook and girls can earn a living. i don't know where all this chauvinism started. my friend's mom actually earns for the family and her dad does the chores and the cooking and no one's had a problem with that. [diannebcrs]
I have elected to stay at home till my kids are all in high School. I feel better knowing that I'm at home and able to provide their meals for when they get home, I can help with their homework when they ask and I can sit and discuss their day with them without feeling hurried and irritable as I'm sure I would were I to work at this point. My partner provides well enough for all of us and we're definitely keeping our heads above water. He's also due a pay raise at the end of next month so that will come in handy too. We're also getting married next year and so I guess then my title will officially be housewife as well as Mom lol. As things stand now, we do well enough, but I know if we were to start struggling, I would have no issues with going out and getting a job. [retardedrugrat]
I have done both...I have worked full time making more money then my husband but I now stay home with my kids. Once they are in school full time I will probably go back to work. But, right now I enjoy being here with my kids & I don't mind the work. Plus, I sell on ebay so I still get to stay at home and help the family....along with making some extra spending money for myself.... [jennysp8]
it doesn't have to be an argument my wife and I have no kids so maybe easier than most when we both worked, we split the chores, just did em once a week if one not working, then they do ALL of em if part time then they do more of em now we hire people to help and that is very nice [kurtbiewald]
wellt he modern wives now a days are career oriented and its good actually its a great help to husband and in the family too...however in my opinion if the husband can support well enough for the family then why work..being amother is a career too that i consider...and its not a great joke raising kids and all...but now at present im working parttime just to help him on some bills ...and same time it keeps me more busy and productive as well.. [vanities]
That's actually true, in fact.. if God has called some women to be housewives, then why not? I mean, yeah it's also a career. It's also hard to raise kids and go with your career at the same time. I salute moms with no husbands! [gegegelay]
I wanted to do both..I can be a housewife and at the same time i can go to work but not a breadwinner. [cachekitten]
I've been both at times in my life. I find that now that my kids are grown and mostly grown, I would rather work outside the home, I get bored to easily, and there is only so much housework a person can do without going batty. [dlkuku]
I am a stay at home mother and wife and while it is hard somedays I wouldnt change it for the world. I love being home with my kids and watching them grown and do new things everyday. I do sometimes feel guilty because my husband is always working and bringing home the money, but with that being said I am finishing my college degree and will be done witht his in Aug and will be able to get a decent part time job around my husbands and help bring some income in my home. I would definately reccommend this to anyone that is thinking about it. Somedays are very hectic and I tell my husband, you stay home and ill go to work but I really love my job as a wife and mother. [bad1981]
You're a great mother! I'm sure your kids are proud of you ;) [gegegelay]
my husband is a Iron Worker so he works long hours and hes shift changes with the job so it whould be hard for me to work though i whould love to. But i also love to stay home with the kids we are to sure about put them any day care till they can talk better.Ones 2 ond 10m mabe when they are old i will work [onlyourbunny]
I am a house wife and sometimes I feel bad that I am not earning any money. My husband says that he would rather me stay home and take care of our daughter and I would rather watch her than have to take her to daycare where she may be forgotten about and loved less. No one can love a child like their parents. I just wish that I could get a little bit of money from the state for staying home with my baby. [ryleesmama]
Aaaaw.. I believe you want to help your husband. I guess staying just inside the house, especially if you're not a "homey" type, is not that progressive. I'm sure your husband just wants you to raise up your child into a fine young lady. You're right, no one can love a child like their own parents. I'm sure you'll have your chance in the future ;) [gegegelay]
I think many women face these fact ,to be a housewife or breadwinner? many women after they married they gave up their job but stay at home to look after baby and do housework, do you think they really want to be that kind people?In China many women give up their job for their family that's their willing.family is more important than their job,it is right,but i don't agree their action, everyone has their dream, they should after their dream that doesn,t mean will disturb their family life if they arrange it well.I want to be a good wife ,mum ,daughter-in -law, but also i hope have my job ,i will not give up my job . i am a tranditional girl ,family is the most important to me ,but i hope i have chance to share the burden with my hubby, not only he work outside to feed the family ,i will arrange my job well ,and after work i will share all the time with my family ,my baby, i don't think my job should be the best but i will try my best to do it well. A woman have their dream and also love their family ,that kind woman is the most charming . [jiangfaying]
that's true. hope you'll have a wonderful family in the future. just try to balance everything and everything will fall into place ;) [gegegelay]
There are many opportunities for people to continue their learnine .Lmost any college of school offers continutingm [year3399]
Way to go, I would go for both too, actually nowadays most women work, and take care of the housework too, men just tend to see us like housewifes, but we are humans just like them, and we have the same rights, and same duties, being a woman doesn't mean you can't work, and persue your own dreams, I guess my husband understand this pretty much because I never had to ask him for permission to start working, or anything like that, he always let me do as I wish because he knows I am really smart when taking my own decisions, he even ask for advice most of the time, I wish all men were like him, but I guess it's too much to ask for, so women outhere raise your voice! and mark your territory! God bless you all. [paulinabhadra1577]
You're blessed to have someone like your husband ;) I believe my future husband won't disagree also. I know he would support me in all of my endeavors and dreams. [gegegelay]
i am still single and if the time comes I would rather be a housewife. I want my husband to be the breadwinner and i would be the one take care of our kids.Because i love to take care of kids. [denden]
To my opinion i would like to be both.Am not married yet but i feel i need to help my family both in finance and household works.I would like to do part time job to earn money. Actually it depends upon the family situation for a women to decide to go for work or not.If there is financial problem the women can work full time to make the family financial position stable. [subathra]
if my financial capability permits my wife to stay home then i will let her stay and take good care of the hosue and children but unluckily it does not so she is working just parttime to help me augment our income [gemini1960]
I want to be house wife, if we have to make two roles house wife and bread earner we will not do justce tp either [saisudhamani]
i used to be both.but now i just stay at home an let my husband work.but i still do my own thing an make my own money.i started investing money in flipping houses so i earn enough money in return to stay home.an i love it! [classy56]
Hi gegegelay. I have been a wife for almost 23 years and have a beautiful 21 year old daughter and must admit that I'm very proud to be both. Unfortunately, hubby doesn't do housework, so that's mainly my responsibility, though he does take responsibility for things I don't like to do, so it works out ok. :) As a new wife, I wanted more than housework because it usually took both our incomes to meet the bills each month. Things definately got tighter after our daughter was born, so I went back to work after 6 weeks not only for the added income but the extra insurance coverage my job provided. Going back to work was a hard decision, but I felt that leaving her in home care would let me feel more comfortable about someone other than me taking care of her during the day yet would still allow me to maintain good insurance (just in case). As time went on, work loads started to increase as we worked our way thru meeting each month's expenses. By the time my daughter started high school, she was a big help with the chores while I not only went to work during the day, but also when I had to take night courses to get my real estate appraisers license. I had decided to do this because it would allow me to spend more with my family and still make a decent living primarily from my home. Unfortunately, my business partner and coworker wasn't so ethical and when we disolved our partnership, I got stuck with a $25,000 tax bill that I had to work for another 3 years in order to payoff (in installments). :( So much for the well laid plans... During the period I was looking for work to pay off this huge debt, I ran across some get paid to sites that would allow me to make a little bit of spare change in my spare time for free. I signed up for a few, thinking a few cents is better than nothing & every little bit helps, right? Well I have accumulated more than a few in the years since, but it is nice to get a little extra money coming in occasionally, just in my spare time. Now that my daughter is grown & moved out on her own, and after almost 23 years of marriage, I think it's nice to once again be a housewife since my hubby will let me do it. I definately don't miss the 70 mile a day commute to work. Things might be tight again occasionally, money wise, but I really like having computer access to find ways to earn some extra income without having to go outside of the home. I can still earn an income that gives us a few extras without being as affected by today's gas prices. [paidreader]
Very true. Have you heard the song Daughters by John Mayer? It's quite beautiful. :D [paidreader]
I like both.I want to be a housewife and at the same time a bread winner. [ydnac22]
same here..i think that we're also bound to become breadwinners while being a housewife at the same time..we also have our own dreams you know..and i know that we'll become a better housewife/person if we also achieved something for ourselves and famiy too..something that we could be proud of.. [akinad]